歌词与中文翻译
Do you worry that nobody likes you?
在担心没人喜欢你吗？
We'll provide you with friends.
我们会给你带去友爱
Kifflom. I'm the honorable Chris Formage.
基辅隆（该教问候语）~在下正是万人敬仰的克里斯·佛米吉
Covet your neighbor's ass no longer.
汝不可觊觎邻居之翘臀
The Epsilon Program seeks out
埃普西隆教包含了
the convenient bits from every faith to create
其他宗教的各种元素
a religion that is uniquely American:
且最符合美利坚核心价值观：
expensive, promiscuous, and entirely meaningless.
纸醉金迷、人尽可骑、虚无主义
And unlike other major religions,
而且不像别的黑心宗教
we only tithe 8.75 percent.
你只需要上缴总收入的8.75%而已
That means less for God, and more for you.
主仁慈的少收一些，慷慨的多施舍你一些
All you have to do is
你只需要
read and understand the Epsilon Tract,
认真阅读体会埃普西隆章程
and the secrets of the Universe
那么，宇宙的奥秘
will be open to you.
就自然会向你呈现
Just call 1-866-FUN-CULT.
详情致电1-866-FUN-CULT