The Chess Game

MARVIN: That's the king,

Treat him nice.

Use some brains.

Now protect him.

WHIZZER: Yes I know

Here I go...

MARVIN: Play the game.

WHIZZER: Please don't watch me. I can do it.

MARVIN: Have a little scotch.

WHIZZER: Shit! I blew it.

Maybe you could show me where,

I fear I've lost my head.

MARVIN: Do you want my help?

WHIZZER: No, I don't.

I can think it through myself.

MARVIN: Start again, we've seen the worst

WHIZZER: I'll go first.

MARVIN: Move a pawn ( WHIZZER: No sir )

MARVIN: Move. ( WHIZZER: Where? )

MARVIN: There. ( WHIZZER: Here? )

MARVIN: Move a pawn. ( WHIZZER: Who? )

MARVIN: Not the queen.

WHIZZER/MARVIN: Who?/Jesus-

BOTH: Life's a sham and every move is wrong.

We've examined every move as we move along.

MARVIN/WHIZZER: Winning is everything to me./Nothing is everything to me.

Winning is everything to me./Nothing is everything to me.

WHIZZER: Except sex... ( MARVIN: Move a pawn. )

And money.

MARVIN: Good first move.

WHIZZER: Quite alright.

Take a turn.

MARVIN: Thank you kindly.

WHIZZER: Move the pawn.

Move the pawn.

Take my hand.

Play the game.

MARVIN: God, you're pretty.

WHIZZER: More's a pity.

Since you need a man... ( MARVIN: What? )

Who's brainy

WHIZZER/MARVIN: Or witty./Witty. Move.

WHIZZER: What should I do now?

MARVIN: Move. ( WHIZZER: Where? ) There.

WHIZZER: How should I behave myself?

Maybe we should call it quits.

MARVIN: This game shits.

WHIZZER: Let me win? ( MARVIN: Yes sir )

WHIZZER: Please? ( MARVIN: Yes! )

Thanks! ( MARVIN: Wait. )

Whizzer wins. ( MARVIN: Wait! )

WHIZZER: Whizzer wins!

MARVIN/WHIZZER: Wait-/Checkmate-

BOTH: Life's a sham and every move is wrong.

We've examined every move as we move along.

WHIZZE R: Whizzer's supposed to make the dinner,

Be a patsy, lose at chess,

Always bravely acquiesce,

Clip the coupons, make the dinner, and love him.

WHIZZER/MARVIN: This has got to come to a stop, Marvin/This has got to come to a stop

This has been a lousy but fabulous flop/Fabulous flop

MARVIN: Anyone understand?

All I want's a kiss

Anyone understand?

WHIZZER: Don't start explaining

I'm sick of explaining

WHIZZER/MARVIN: And this had better come to a stop, Marvin/This had better come to a stop, Whizzer

Now, Marvin/Now, Whizzer

Ciao, Marvin/Ciao, Whizzer

BOTH: Bend!

This had better come

This had better come to a

This, this, this, this

WHIZZER/MARVIN: This had better come to an end/This had better come to an end

BOTH: This had better come to an end