The Thrill of First Love

WHIZZER: Hang up all your clothes.

MARVIN: Whizzer begs.

WHIZZER: Whizzer knows.

MARVIN: Shave your legs.

WHIZZER: Make me sick.

MARVIN: You're a prick-

WHIZZER: God you're impossible!

We've been together for nine months-

( MARVIN: Uh' ten months. WHIZZER: Nine Months. MARVIN: Ten Months. WHIZZER: Nine months. )

MARVIN: Ten months. We are the salt of the bourgeoisie-

WHIZZER: While I put the steak in-

MARVIN: I bring home the bacon.

BOTH: And we're proud to say we love it how we-

MARVIN/ WHIZZER: Don't/ Won't

(WHIZZER: Won't. MARVIN: Don't. WHIZZER: Won't. MARVIN: Don't. )

BOTH: Agree.

WHIZZER: Everything he owns is vile.

Marvin doesn't care a whit.

Marvin doesn't share my devotion to-

STYLE.

Men from France can cancel a debt.

Men in cufflinks make me forget my name.

I intend to upset

This regrettable game.

MARVIN: Whizzer takes me by the neck.

WHIZZER: What is this? Wash and wear?

MARVIN: Whizzer has unlimited knowledge of DRECK.

WHIZZER: Send me flowers.

MARVIN: Mention is made.

WHIZZER: Make them roses.

MARVIN: Attention is paid in full.

WHIZZER: See how quickly he sours!

MARVIN: When he pushes, I pull.

WHIZZER: Hang up your clothes, Marvin. Breeding shows, Marvin!

MARVIN: I was rich.

He was horny.

WHIZZER: We fit like a glove.

MARVIN: Close your eyes, Whizzer.

WHIZZER: Passion dies-

But I'd kill for that thrill of first love.

BOTH: We ask for passion at all times.

We stand to passion and drink this toast.

WHIZZER: Still it's awfully trying?

MARVIN: And we're not denying?

BOTH: That of all the lesser passions,

We like fighting most.

MARVIN: Whizzer screws too much to see,

What a joy is monogamy.

What a joy is saving his joys

For one man.

WHIZZER: Leave me.

MARVIN: Love me.

WHIZZER: Don't be a fool.

MARVIN: Want me.

WHIZZER: Feed me.

MARVIN: No one's so cruel and cheap.

WHIZZER: What I love I devour.

MARVIN: What you love you devour! What I covet I keep.

Isn't that right, Whizzer?

Let's both fight, Whizzer!

WHIZZER: I was trained in karate.

MARVIN: I'm best when I cheat.

So I'll cheat, Whizzer, and I'll shove.

And I'll kill for that thrill of first love.

WHIZZER: We've been together for nine months-

( MARVIN: Ten months. WHIZZER: Nine Months. MARVIN: For ten Months. WHIZZER: Nine months. )

MARVIN: Ten months. In fact we've almost survived a year.

WHIZZER: True, but-

BOTH: Who is counting?

We're too busy mounting a display of our affection.

That is so sincere.

BOTH: Passion dies.

Passion dies!

WHIZZER: I would kill for that thrill of first love.

MARVIN: I would kill for that thrill-

WHIZZER: I would kill for that thrill of first love-

MARVIN: Of first love- I would kill for that thrill-

WHIZZER: I would kill for that thrill of first-

MARVIN: I would kill for that thrill of first-

BOTH: Love, love, lo-ve!