Day One

[Alarm Clock] Who is that?

Who is that?

Emerging from his burrow?

Who can see today what we won't see until tomorrow?

Shaman of the shadows

[RADIO DJ #1] Springer of the spring

Come on

[RADIO DJ #1&#2] Is it a squirrel?

Is it a beaver?

[RADIO DJ #1] Kinda both

[RADIO DJ #1&#2] But not quite either!

[RADIO DJ #1] That's right, woodchuck-chuckers, it's

[RADIO DJ #1&#2] Groundhog Day!

[RADIO DJ #1] We're here live from Gobbler's Knob talking about everything! Weather

[RADIO DJ #2] Predictions

[RADIO DJ #1] Tempurature

[RADIO DJ #2] The weather

[RADIO DJ #1] It just got

[RADIO DJ #2] Totally wacky!

[RADIO DJ #1] That's our town on February 2nd

[RADIO DJ #2] I mean what could be crazier than groundhogs in February?

[Phone] Good morning, this is your wake up call

[PHIL] Thank you

[Phone] Happy Groundhog Day

[PHIL] Yeah, happy Groundhog Day..

[RADIO DJ #1] By the way, that's a great hat you're wearing

[RADIO DJ #2] Thanks! I made it myself

[PHIL] Lumpy bed, ugly curtains

Pointless erection

[RADIO DJ #1] There's talk of a blizzard

[RADIO DJ #2] Well, it's cold enough

[RADIO DJ #1] How cold would you say it is?

[RADIO DJ #2] Oh, I'm no good at science

[PHIL] Dried flowers, damp towels

No reception

[RADIO DJ #2] Doesn't matter how cold it is, it's how cold you feel

[RADIO DJ #1] You know, you lose up to eighty percent of your body heat through your head?

[RADIO DJ #2] Screw that

[PHIL] Small town, tiny minds

Big mouths, small ideas

[RADIO DJ #1&#2] Gooooo Chucks!

[PHIL] Shallow talk, deep snow

Cold fronts, big rears

[RADIO DJ #1] Change the subject. Now, how cold was it last year?

[RADIO DJ #2] In degrees?

[RADIO DJ #1] I heard they don't even use degrees in Europe

[RADIO DJ #2] That's a good point

[RADIO DJ #1] Great point

[RADIO DJ #2] Lotta mysteries out there

[PHIL] One bar, one store, one clock

One diner, one bank, one cop

[RADIO DJ #1] But right now, the question on everyone's lips

[RADIO DJ #2] Chapped lips

[RADIO DJ #1] Do you think Phil will see his shadow? What's your prediction?

[PHIL] I mean,

What's not to like in a quaint little place like this?

Who doesn't dig a crocheted pillowcase like this?

Watercolors of bucolic vistas

Painted by octogenarian spinsters

And all of the people just getting together

For relentless analysis of the weather

Their dumb superstitions and vacuous chat

I'm sure there was a pack of Xanax in this jacket

You couldn't pay me to stay here one more night

Swear that there is no check you could write that might

Tempt me to stay and wake up in the morning in

[Radio] Punxsutawney

[PHIL] There's nothing more depressing than

Small Town U.S.A.

And small don't come much smaller than

Punxsutawney on Groundhog Day

[PHIL & TOWNSPEOPLE]

There's nothing more (Punxsutawney)

Depressing than (Pennsylvania)

Small Town U.S.A. (U.S.A)

And small don't come much (Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh)

smaller than

Punxsutawney on Groundhog

Day (Punxsutawney on Groundhog Day)

[PHIL]

I've not a bad word to say about small towns per se

They're nice for an hour or at a stretch, half a day

And they're perfect for a stop-off on your way

On your way to somewhere else

Pretty much anywhere else

And I've no qualm at all

With your small-town people

I admire their balls

Getting out of bed at all

To face another day in a ****-hole this small

All haystacks and horses where there should be golf courses

And one bar, one store, one clock

One diner, one bank, one cop

How can they bear it

To live in a place like this?

Separate from the whole human race like this?

One little store selling plaid shirts and rakes

And it's huntin' and fishin' and half-pounder steaks

And if I have a hope of a better career than this

This is the last time I'm broadcasting here

Jesus

I have been forecasting too many years

To be talking to hicks about magical beavers

When I'm done, gonna call up the station

And tell them I'm through with this crap

And never again will I wake in the morning in

[TOWNSPEOPLE] Punxsutawney

Is a little town

With a heart as big as any town

As any small town in the U.S.A.

And there is no town greater than

Punxsutawney on Groundhog Day

[PHIL] Tomorrow I'll wake and I'll call up the station

And tell them I'm not coming back

And never again will I wake in the morning in

[TOWNSPEOPLE] Every morning I wake to the dawning of

[PHIL] Never again will I wake in the morning in

[PHIL & TOWNSPEOPLE] Punxsutawney

[TOWNSPEOPLE] Is a little town

With a heart as big as any town

[PHIL & TOWNSPEOPLE]

There's nothing more

depressing than (As any small town)

Small Town U.S.A. (In the U.S.A.)

And there is no town （There is no town greater than)

smaller than (Punxsutawney)

Punxsutawney on Groundhog (A heart as big as any town)

There's nothing more

depressing than (As any small town)

Small Town U.S.A. (In the U.S.A.)

There is no town smaller than (And there is no town greater than)

Punxsutawney on (Punxsutawney on)

Punxsutawney on (Punxsutawney on)

Punxsutawney on (Punxsutawney on)

(Groundhog)

Just kill me now (Day!)

[TOWNSPEOPLE] Who is that?

Who is that?

Emerging from his burrow?

Who can see today what we won't see until tomorrow?

Shaman of the shadows

Springer of the spring

Is it a squirrel?

Is it a beaver?

[BUSTER] Kinda both

But not quite either!

[TOWNSPEOPLE]

All the meteorologists

The world has ever known

Cannot match this little guy's uncanny skill

We can guess but we won't know

If we should dress for sun or snow

Until we hear it from Punxsutawney Phil

[BUSTER] Every year for a hundred years

We've bent our heads and lent our ears

To listen to his famed prognostication

Lucky for you, I speak with ease

Both English and Groundhog-ese

Please stand-by for imminent translation

[ELDERS] This brown log contain-eth

One groundhog, the famous

Phillip of Punxsutawney

Gifted sniffer of future mornings

[TOWNSPEOPLE] The finest specimen you will find

Of Rodentia: Sciuridae

Our own uncanny whistle-pig

The ground-est hog that ever lived

A hundred years and he is still

The pride of Punxsutawney

The prophet of PA

Prognosticatin' Punxsutawney Phil

Who is that?

Who is that?

Emerging from his burrow?

Who can see today what we won't see until tomorrow?

Shaman of the shadows

Springer of the spring

Is it a squirrel?

Is it a beaver?

[BUSTER] Kinda both

But not quite either

[TOWNSPEOPLE] All the meteorologists

The world has ever known

Cannot match this little guy's uncanny skill

We can guess but we won't know

If we should dress for sun or snow

Until we hear it from Punxsutawney Phil

[BUSTER] Punxsutawney Phil, seer of seers

Prognosticator of prognosticators

Has declared in Groundhog-ese

That he did indeed see his shadow

Six more weeks of winter!

[TOWNSPEOPLE] Awwwww

Yaaay!

All the meteorologists

The world has ever known

Cannot match this little guy's uncanny skill

We can guess but we won't know

If we should dress for sun or snow

Until we hear it from Punxsutawney Phil

[RITA] February 2nd

First remote broadcast

GHD in Punx, PA

[RITA & TOWNSPEOPLE]

Unexpected weather (Tomorrow)

Seems we're staying here for (Spring will come, and then)

another night

Which is kinda fine (There will be blue skies, my )

It's a sweet town and (friend)

People are kind and

The bartender's kind of hot

Hopefully, tomorrow (Tomorrow)

The roads will be cleared (There will be sun)

And we can go home

Working with Phil Connors (And if not tomorrow)

They all told me he would be an asshole

And he is

(Perhaps the day aaaaaa-)

Luckily he's funny-ish

Thinks he's too good for this

[TOWNSPEOPLE] Tomorrow

Spring will come, and then

There will be blue skies, my friend

Bright eyes and laughter

Tomorrow, there will be sun

But if not tomorrow

Perhaps the day aaaaa-