Nothing Ever Happens

Post office clerks put up signs saying 'position closed'

And secretaries turn off typewriters and put on their coats

And janitors padlock the gates

For security guards to patrol

And bachelors phone up their friends for a drink

While the married ones turn on a chat show

And they'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

Gentlemen time please, you know we can't serve anymore

Now the traffic lights change to stop, when there's nothing to go

And by five o'clock everything's dead

And every third car is a cab

And ignorant people sleep in their beds

Like the ***** white mice in the college lab

And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all

The needle returns to the start of the song

And we all sing along like before

And we'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

Telephone exchanges click while there's nobody there

The Martians could land in the car park and no one would care

Closed-circuit cameras in department stores

Shoot the same movie every day

And the stars of these films neither die nor get killed

Just survive constant action replay

And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all

The needle returns to the start of the song

And we all sing along like before

And we'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow

And bill hoardings advertise products that nobody needs

While "Angry from Manchester" writes to complain about

All the repeats on TV

Computer terminals report some gains in the values of copper and tin

While American businessmen snap up Van Goghs

For the price of a hospital wing

And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all

The needle returns to the start of the song

And we all sing along like before

And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all

They'll burn down the synagogues at six o'clock

And we'll all go along like before

And we'll all be lonely tonight and lonely tomorrow