The Play

[SQUIP, spoken] It's okay, Jeremy

I anticipated her resistance

[JEREMY, spoken] No! I have to destroy that beaker

Where's the beaker?

[SQUIP, spoken] I anticipated your resistance too, Jeremy

So I took the decision out of your hands

[BROOKE, spoken] What angel wakes me from my flowery bed

[MR. REYES, spoken] Some potion, m' lady!

[BROOKE, spoken] Thanks-

Ow!

[BROOKE, spoken] I warned thee gentle mortal

It's time to feed again!

(laughing)

[JEREMY, spoken] You're going to SQUIP the whole cast!

[SQUIP, spoken] And that's just for starters

Soon, I won't just be in your brain

I'll be in everyone's!

[JEREMY, spoken] Not if I can stop you!

Mr. Reyes? You can't let anyone else drink from that beaker

[MR. REYES, spoken] Don't be silly! It's more than safe

I should know, I tried it myself

[SQUIP, spoken] Up up down down left right A

[JEREMY & MR. REYES] Ow!

[JEREMY, spoken] Mr. Reyes?

[MR. REYES, spoken]You needy, pathetic

Self-centered students!

You think I wanted to teach high school drama?

In New Jersey?

[JEREMY, spoken] What did you do to him?

[SQUIP] I synced his desires to your own

I now realize my operating system will only be complete

When everyone shares a social network

[JEREMY, spoken] You're a computer! There has to be some way to turn you off

[SQUIP, spoken] I'd stop there

Rich tried to fight back

And look what happened to him

[RICH, spoken] I need Mountain Dew Red

[JEREMY, spoken] That's it!

Green mountain dew activates you, red shuts you off!

[SQUIP, spoken] Why do you think we had it discontinued?

To get rid of me now you'd need a time machine to the 1990's

[JEREMY, spoken] Or a friend who's so old school

He buys 90s soft drinks from the back room at Spencer's Gifts!

[SQUIP, spoken] Jeremy!

I'm going to improve your life

If I have to take over the entire human race to do it!

[MICHAEL] Michael makes an entrance!

[JEREMY, spoken] Michael!

You came to see me in the play?

[MICHAEL, spoken] Even brought my own refreshments

[JEREMY, spoken] Is that-

[MICHAEL, spoken] Mountain Dew Red!

Told you I did my research

[JEREMY, spoken] That's amazing! Give it to me!

[MICHAEL, spoken] Okay! Wait, no

[SQUIP, spoken] Kung Fu fists activate

[JEREMY, spoken] This is so-

Y-y-y-y-you love to feel superior and don't care about being popular

[MICHAEL, spoken] Of course I care!

I just know it's never gonna happen

[JEREMY, spoken] What? You resent me because I wouldn't g-g-g-give up like you did?

[MICHAEL, spoken] I don't resent you!

I'm jealous you tried!

[JEREMY, spoken] Well, I'm j-j-jealous you don't!

[MICHAEL, spoken] Why are you hitting me?

[JEREMY, spoken] It's not me--it's

My- Squip-

[MICHAEL, spoken] Jake!

Uhh, this is gonna sound super weird

But if I hold down Jeremy

Can you make him drink this Mountain Dew Red?

[JAKE, spoken] That doesn't sound weird at all

[SQUIP, spoken] Up up down down left right A

[JAKE & JEREMY] Ow!

(screaming)

[SQUIP, spoken] Oh, Jeremy

Look what you're making me make him do!

[JAKE] I'm living the upgrade

Upgrade

God I love me

[CHLOE & BROOKE] (vocalizing)

There you are, Jeremy

[BROOKE, spoken] We just want you to know we're not mad anymore

[CHLOE, spoken] I just wanted to feel liked

[BROOKE, spoken] And I just wanted to feel seen

[CHLOE, spoken] But, I see you!

[BROOKE, spoken] And I like you!

[BOTH] Oh my god, why was I so jealous of you?

You were jealous of me?

That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me

Sisters forever! Jinx!

[JEREMY, spoken] Michael, the bottle!

There's a few drops left

[MICHAEL, spoken] How are we supposed to get to it?

[JEREMY, spoken] Apocalypse of the Damned!

Level nine

[JEREMY & MICHAEL] The Cafetorium

Find the bad guy, push 'em aside

Then move on forward with a friend at your side

It's a two-player game so when they make an attack

You know you got a brother, gonna have your back

[MICHAEL, spoken] Got it!

[JENNA ROLAN, spoken] I just wanted to be part of a group!

Now, I finally am!

And I won't let you take that away

[SQUIP, spoken] You don't wanna drink that, Jeremy!

[JEREMY, spoken] Why not?

[SQUIP, spoken] Because if you drink it

Then you'll never be with her

[CHRISTINE, spoken] Jeremy?

[JEREMY, spoken] Christine?

[CHRISTINE] You are the person I want to be with every day

And this is something that I've been afraid to say

You're the guy I am so kinda into

The guy that I am totally into

This feeling is new

Jeremy

Jeremy

Jeremy, I love you

[SQUIP, spoken] You've waited so long to hear Christine say those words

How can you possibly drink that last drop?

[JEREMY, spoken] That's not Christine!

And I am stronger than you think I am

Drink this

[SQUIP, spoken] No!

Jeremy, think about what you are sacrificing!

[JEREMY, spoken] How do you feel?

[CHRISTINE, spoken] I feel...

Ow!

[JEREMY, spoken] Oh god

[JAKE, CHLOE & BROOKE] Ow!

[JEREMY, spoken] Oh god

[ALL] Ow!

[MICHAEL, spoken] Oh god!

[JEREMY, spoken]What did I do?

[MICHAEL, spoken] You just deactivated the SQUIPs!

(screaming)

[SQUIP] Watashi wa nihon kara kimashita