Michael in the Bathroom

I am hanging in a bathroom at

The biggest party of the fall

I could stay right here or disappear

And nobody would even notice at all

I'm a creeper in a bathroom

'Cause my buddy kinda left me alone

But I'd rather fake pee than stand awkwardly

Or pretend to check a text on my phone

Everything felt fine when I was half of a pair

Now through no fault of mine, there's no other half there

Now I'm just Michael in the bathroom

Michael in the bathroom at a party

Forget how long it's been

I'm just Michael in the bathroom

Michael in the bathroom at a party

No, you can't come in!

I'm waiting it out 'til it's time to leave

And picking at grout as I softly grieve

I'm just Michael who you don't know

Michael flyin' solo

Michael in the bathroom by himself

All by himself

I am hiding, but he's out there, just

Ignoring all our history

Memories get erased, then I'll get replaced

With a newer, cooler version of me

And I hear a drunk girl sing along to Whitney through the door

"I wanna dance with somebody"

And my feelings sink, 'cause it makes me think:

Now there's no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore!

Now it's just Michael in the bathroom

Michael in the bathroom at a party

I half regret the beers

Michael in the bathroom

Michael in the bathroom at a party

As I choke back the tears

I'll wait as long as I need

Till my face is dry

Or I'll just blame it on weed, or something in my eye!

I'm just Michael who you don't know, Michael flyin' solo

Michael in the bathroom by himself!

[MICHAEL (WITH ENSEMBLE)]

Knock, knock, knock, knock

They're gonna start to shout soon

Knock, knock, knock, knock

Oh hell yeah, I'll be out soon

Knock, knock, knock, knock

It sucks you left me here alone

Knock, knock, knock, knock

Here in this teenage battle zone-

Clang, clang, clang, clang

I feel the pressure blowing up

Bang, bang, bang, bang

My big mistake was showing up

Splash, splash, splash, splash

I throw some water in my face

And I am in a better place

I go to open up the door

But I can't hear knocking

Anymore

And I can't help but yearn

For a different time

And then I look in the mirror

And the present is clearer

And there's no denying, I'm just-

At a party

Is there a sadder sight than-

(humming)

Michael in the bathroom at a party

This is a heinous night

I wish I stayed at home in bed watching cable porn

Or wish I offed myself instead

Wish I was never born

I'm just Michael who's a loner

So he must be a stoner

Rides a PT Cruiser

God he's such a loser

Michael flyin' solo

Who you think that you know

Michael in the bathroom by himself

All by himself

All by himself

And all you know about me is my name

Awesome party

I'm so glad I came