Tombstone Blues

The sweet pretty things are in bed now of course

The city fathers they're trying to endorse

Reincarnation of Paul Revere's horse

But the town has no need to be nervous

The ghost of Belle Starr she hands down her wits

To Jezebel the nun she violently knits

A bald wig for Jack the Ripper who sits

At the head of the chamber of commerce

Mama's in the factory she ain't got no shoes

Dad's in the alley, he's lookin' high for fuse

I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues, ohh well

The hysterical bride in the Penny Arcade

Screaming she moans, "I've just been made"

Sends out for the doctor who pulls down the shade

Sayin', "Don't let the boys in"

Well the medicine man comin' and he shuffles inside

Walks with a swagger and he says to the bride

"Stop all this weeping, swallow your pride

You won't die, it's not poison"

Mama's in the factory she ain't got no shoes

Dad's in the alley, he's lookin' high for fuse

I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues, ohh wow yea

Well, John the Baptist after torturing a thief

Looks at his hero the commander in chief

"Tell me great hero, but please make it brief

Is there a hole for me to get sick in?"

Well the commander in chief answers him while chasing a fly

"Death to all those who would whimper and cry"

And dropping a bar bell he points to the sky

"The sun's not yellow it's chicken"

Aaa mama's in the factory she ain't got no shoes

Dad's in the alley he's lookin' high for fuse

I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues, ohh well

Where Ma Raney and Beethoven once unwrapped their bed roll

Tuba players now rehearse around the flagpole

The National Bank selling road maps for the soul

To the old folks home and the college

Well I wish that I could write you a melody so plain

Would is you do that if I'am going insane

Ease you and cool you and cease the pain

Of your useless and pointless knowledge

Mama's in the factory she ain't got no shoes

Dad's in the alley he's lookin' high for fuse

I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues, aah yea