Classic Male Pregame

Classic Male Pregame - Lil Dicky

What's up, y'all?

It's your boy LD

A.K.A. The Original Pancake

I'm going the fuck out tonight

Off work, 'bout to get trashed

Me and my crew all about to get ass

Sam coming through with a bottle of the Cap

Me and Dean 'bout to tube, Mark taking out the trash

Clean up my room, bitches 'bout to peep that

Peeing, getting groomed, bitches 'bout to eat that

Dean shave my neck, thanks, man, I need that

Read through my text, then I itch my kneecap

Now I gotta play the game right with Liz

Top prospect, met the other night through Tinder

Eight o'clock so I think it's only right I hit her

With a "what you got on tap for the night?", delivered

While I wait Imma pick a shirt

Ain't nobody wearing plaid so I claim it first

Mark got a little sad cause his favorite shirt's plaid but fuck him

He knows I back off in a reverse

Now I'm taking a shot and we drinking and popping a bottle

And thinking of all the bitches we gon' haul in

Sam say I know a house party and it's popping

Bet Imma cop some weird head, Dennis Rodman

Oh, yeah, we plotting

[03:27.91][02:08.02][00:48.19][02:24.33]This is a pregame

[02:10.22][00:50.37]It's a pregame

[02:11.78][00:51.81]A classic male pregame

[02:14.28][00:54.31]Not a weekday

[02:15.65][00:55.75]So this is when we take

[02:18.22][00:58.25]Shots and we chasing alternate DJs

And that we pray cause

And that we pray cause

And we all get drunk

And we get dressed up

And we all buy gum

And we all gon' fuck

Aye, pour me another shot, God damn it

I'm tryna get to a place where I can talk to these bitches

I got seven shots in me, three condoms on me and immeasurable hope

Ten O Clock, words getting slurred

Another shot, Sam's tryna hurry

Mark's not, says he isn't worried

He ain't tryna spend hella bread at the clurb

Call him out, "since when you using clurb, faggot"

Mark pouts, something like a herb rabbit

Dean smiles, we been doing work

Pretty turnt, think he blacked out

Lil Dicky burp loud

Peep phone, what the fuck, she ain't text back

Pretty close to considering a text back

Spilling Coke on my shirt that's a red flag

Now I gotta change, Mark knows put his best plaid on

We debating the top ten in the NBA

Disagreeing alot about Lamarcus A

Shawshank Redemption popped on, attention all on

Sam was like, "nah, the party called off"

I already got a Lyft, I'm going out to a bar

Then Mark pulled out a spliff, temptation very hard

You know I couldn't resist, we blazing, now the car here

And we get fucked up

And we all feel rushed

And our plans fall through

And we in bad moods

Man, what time is it?

12: 24? And the bars close at 2, lights on like 1: 30

Let me just think for like a second

Sam like, "we gotta go, cause the car here"

Mark like, "I don't know, what's the bar deal?"

Dean like, "I'm on a roll in Guitar Hero"

Dicky looking like he about to choke on his lamb gyro

Sam looking let down, 'bout to go berserk

Mark put his sweats on, now he rolling purp

Dean blacked out, he ain't even on the earth

I was like, "Sam, I was with it with my other shirt"

Sam bounced, he's like, "fuck it, I'm out"

Me and Mark smoke a blunt, Dean stuck on the ground

Text Liz, "what the fuck?", even snuck in a frown

I get the spins high and drunk, I throw up in the shower

Now I'm jerking off inside a condom (I do that)

I text my ex say, "I miss you often" (true that)

Sam back, it's not even one yet, he a dumb mess

He about to be a problem

I ain't even tripping, I'm Tindering

All of a sudden I'm blinking, I'm squinting

It's saying it's six in the morning

I'm stinking, I'm still in the same shit from last night

Got a text from Mark saying:

"I ain't mad, but I know you'll clean the bath, right?"

And we get too drunk

And we don't have fun

Then we eat too much

And the next day sucks