The Night Santa Went Crazy

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys

For the good

Gentile girls and the good

Gentile boys

When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death

Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath

From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo

Like a big fat drunk disgruntled

Yuletide Rambo

And he smiled and said, with a twinkle in his eye,"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

The night

Santa went crazy

The night

St. Nick went insane

Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal

Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it

Everywhere you'll find pieces of

Cupid and

CometAnd he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage

And he ground up poor

Rudolph into reindeer sausage

He got Dancer and

Prancer with an old

German Luger

And he slashed up

Dasher just like

Freddie Krueger

And he picked up a flamethrower and barbecued

BlitzenAnd he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"

The night

Santa went crazy

The night

Kris Kringle went nuts

Now you can't hardly walk around the

North Pole

Without steppin' in reindeer guts

There's the

National Guard and the

F. B. I.There's a van from the

Eyewitness

NewsAnd helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky

And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'

And everyone's dyin' to know, oh

Santa, why?

My my my my my my

You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes, Virginia, now

Santa's doing time

In a federal prison for his infamous crime

Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears

He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years

But now Vixen's in therapy and

Donner's still nervous

And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service

And they say

Mrs. Claus, she's on the phone every night

With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin 'bout the night

Santa went crazy

The night

St. Nicholas flipped

Broke his back for some milk and cookies

Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped

Wo, the night

Santa went crazy

The night

St. Nick went insane

Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal

Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain

Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain