If I Could Share My Life With You

CHEF

If I could share my life with you

Just think how happy we'd be

We'd share a hovel built for two

Complete with vermin for three

We could while away each hopeless day

Comparing open sores

Yes, life would blow

But much less though

If I could share mine with yours

GWEN

If I could share my life with you

CHEF

Admit it, it would be nice

GWEN

We'd share one cot

One chamber pot

CHEF

Plus trench mouth, tapeworms, and lice!

We would have a dozen kids

GWEN

And maybe one won't die

CHEF

And the plague

GWEN

The runs

CHEF

Invading huns

BOTH

Just think how time would fly

If you could share your life with me

I'll cherish every foul breath

GWEN

The filth

CHEF

The rot

GWEN

The leprosy

BOTH

The painful lingering death

Thank the lord our life expectancy is merely thirty-two

GWEN

Yeah it might be sweet misery

BOTH

To share what's left with you