Jackass in a Can

Your average knight in armor

He's utterly the pits

His ego's so humongous

That his helmet barely fits

He wears two tons of padding

And thinks he's quite the man

He's nothing but a jackass in a fancy metal can

A jackass in a can

There's nothing worser than

A high and mighty jackass in a can

My master hasn't had a sip of grog without my spit in it for years. I've got him craving it now. I gave it to him once without it, he said it didn't taste right. So, what about your knight? As bad as ours?

Uh, yeah, sure.

There's all that fame and glory

The smell though, not so great

And then, those big long lances

Yeah, to overcompensate

The glamor, the swagger

Yeah, really not a fan

He's quite a major dill****

In a fancy metal can

A dill**** in a can

There's nothing lamer than

A condescending dill**** in a can

And who does all the planning

Yeah, who does all the work

True

Who gets no vacation, not one payment, not one perk

Good point

Who's third-rate insurance

Comes without a dental plan

Your average, humble squire

Not the meathead in the can

A jerkface in a can

There's nothing sadder than

Some over-muscled, chauvinistic

Self-indulgent, egotistic

Stingy, prissy, narcesistic

Jackass in a can

Oh my God, that's me