Mr. Hankey The Christmas Poo

We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose

And we all know Frosty who's made out of snow

But all of those stories seem kind of... gay

'Cause we all know who brightens up our holiday

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo

Small and brown he comes from you

Sit on the toilet here he comes

Squeezeing 'tween your festive buns

A present from down below

Spreading joy with a "Howdy-Ho!"

He's seen the love inside of you

'Cause he's a piece of poo

Sometimes he's nutty

Sometimes he's corny

He can be brown or greenish brown

But if you eat fiber on Christmas eve

He might come to your town!

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo

He loves me, I love you

Therefore, vicariously he loves you!

I can make a Mr. Hankey too!

Cartman: Well Kyle where is he?Kyle,

Kyle: Ehh .. He's coming!

Stan: Come on dude, push!

Kyle: Ehhhh... I'm Trying!

Cartman: Wait, wait I can see his head!

Kyle: Here he comes!

Mr. Hankey: Howdy Ho!

I'm Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo

Season's greetings to all of you!

Let's sing songs and dance and play

Now before I melt away.

Here's a game I like to play

Stick me in your mouth and try to say

"Howdy ho ho yum yum yum"

Christmas Time has come!

Sometimes He's runny

Sometimes he's firm

Sometimes he's practically water

Sometimes he hangs off the end of your ass

And won't fall in the toilet

'Cause he's just clinging to your sphincter

And he won't drop off and so you shake your ass around

And try to get it to drop in the toilet and finally it does

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo

When Christmas leaves, he must leave too.

Flush him down but he's never gone

His smell and his spirit lingers on!

Howdy Ho!