In This Corner

CHARLIE

Why didn’t you warn me?

LAUREN

I thought you hear. Everyone else did.

CHARLIE

Do you think I would have let it go this far?

Why didn’t you stop it?

LAUREN

Have you ever tried stopping Lola from doing anything?

Lola told Don he could give her any challenge at all and this is what he chose.

CHARLIE

A boxing match between Lola and Don at the FIST’A’CUFFS?

It’s going to be a bloody slaughter.

LAUREN

Have some faith. I’m sure Lola has a few moves up her sleeve…

CHARLIE

It’s not her I’m worried about.

Lola is a professionally trained fighter

LAUREN

She's a what?????

CHARLIE

Come on!

WORKER ON DON’S SIDE

Um hmmm. Looks like there's gonna be trouble.

ANGEL ON LOLA’S SIDE

Oo wee. He don’t know who he’s messing with. Uh. Huh.

REFEREE

Ladies, Gentlemen, and those who have yet to make up their minds…

In this corner

Lean and brown,

Weighing in

In a gold lamé gown

In this corner

Here tonight

In the cradle

Of the bright white light

PAT & ANGEL ON LOLA’S SIDE

Hit him in his big mouth.

Hit him in his insecurity.

PAT, ANGEL ON LOLA’S SIDE, GEORGE & FEMALE ENSEMBLE

Yeah.

PAT & ANGEL ON LOLA’S SIDE

Hit him off his high horse

Hit him so everyone can see.

PAT, ANGEL ON LOLA’S SIDE, GEORGE & FEMALE ENSEMBLE

Yeah.

TRISH

Who do you think you are? Coming to our town lookin’ like a penny sardine on a five-star plate. You better watch you back.

REFEREE

In this corner

Heavy weight

We mean heavy

Like a buttermilk cake

Can a real man

Ever confess

He was beaten

By a guy in a dress?

TRISH & WORKER

Hit him in the lipstick

Hit him in his feminine mystique.

TRISH, WORKER ON DON’S SIDE & MALE ENSEMBLE

Yeah.

TRISH & WORKER ON DON’S SIDE

Hit him off his high heels

Hit him in the cheek

And send him back to London town

TRISH

Sequined freak.

PAT

You’re just gonna get slapped, slapped, slapped.

REFEREE

Alright, alright, alright. Listen up, you two. I want a clean,

fair, but artfully performed fight. I don’t want to see any blows

below the belt or any hairs out of place.

Hang on, darling, you’ve a tick of lipstick on your teeth.

All right then. Get to your corner and come out fighting!

TRISH

He ain’t half the man Don is!

PAT

You can say that again!

PAT, ANGELS, GEORGE & FEMALE ENSEMBLE

In this corner

Wow the crowd

Take him down

And make us ladies proud

TRISH, WORKER & MALE ENSEMBLE

In this corner

Dominate

Set her up

So we can set her straight

REFEREE

Round one!

MEN, WOMEN & ANGELS

Hit him in his big mouth

Hit him in his insecurity.

Yeah.

Hit him off his high horse

Hit him so everyone can see.

Ooh, yeah.

REFEREE

Back to your corners, you beasts!

ANFEL ON LOLA’S SIDE

Care for a grasshopper, darling? It’ll keep ya bouncy.

PAT

If you finish him off fast we can still get kimchee at the Korean’s.

DON

So you got good shot

But don’t get cocky

LOLA

I am pretty as Ali

And tough as Rocky

DON

If you’re lucky I might

Let you off easy

LOLA

Don, you know I get excited

When you tease me.

TRISH

What’s the matter, Don

You look a little pale

LOLA

I feel like a hammer

DON

I feel like the nail

TRISH

Come on, Don

Knock ’em black and blue

PAT

Here comes an uppercut, a left hook

And a pirouette too

REFEREE

Round two!

MEN, WOMEN & ANGELS

Hit him in his big mouth

Hit him in his insecurity. Yeah.

Hit him off his high horse

Hit him so everyone can

Everyone can, everyone can

REFEREE

Un, deux, trois!

MEN, WOMEN & ANGELS

Hit him off his high horse

Don really let that big fist fly, yeah

He hit him with his brute force

Now he can hold his head up high

CHARLIE

Less than a week ’til Milan and you somehow figure a boxing match a good idea?

LOLA

I thought watching Don slap me around might boost morale.

CHARLIE

I surppose I should thank you for not crippling him.

LOLA

Anything for the war effort.