The History of Wrong Guys

LAUREN

Oh, no. Oh, don’t you dare. No, girl, girl, I’m warning you! No!

I think I’ve got crush. Ah! I can’t. I think I’m fallin’ for him.

Oh, no.

Why not?

Women have been making bad choices

Since the beginning of time.

Are you gonna be another one of mine? Ohhh

CHARLIE

Lauren? Lauren.

LAUREN

Argh!

CHARLIE

Ah, I was thinking keeping you on the production line is a waste of your talents.

I’d like you to work with me on the Milan show.

LAUREN

Oh, uh, you don’t owe me a job.

CHARLIE

No?

LAUREN

No.

CHARLIE

All this started with you having a fit.

LAUREN

Well, yeah, I had a fit, but you had an idea.

That’s why some of us get our names on factories and the rest on punch-cards.

CHARLIE

As someone whose name is on factory, I am asking if I may please place your name on one of my executive punch-cards?

Good? Good.

What? Have I got something stuck in my teeth?

LAUREN

Just funny how you can know someone all your life and not really know ’em at all. Ha ha ha.

CHARLIE

Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you later.

LAUREN

Sure thing, boss!

Used to think you were from outer space

Who’s that bright-eyed guy in your place?

You’re kind of cute

When you're not so shy.

Oh.

But I’ve been here before

Have I come back for more?

Another chapter in the history of wrong guys

You used to be so "eh"

A limp lackluster bore

But now you’re changing into

Someone I just can’t ignore.

Charlie, honestly

I’ve been hurt like this before

Is there really more to you

Than what I always thought?

How can you surprise me any more?

Oh. Oh. Oh.

He’s got a girlfriend, you nob!

Don’t want to be another star-crossed lover.

We all know how that ends.

I’m better off without him

We're better off as friends.

But I’ve been here before

Have I come back for more?

Another chapter in the history of wrong guys.

Yesterday no spark

No heart aching allure

But today I’m feeling

Something I just can’t ignore.

Charlie, honestly

I’ve been hurt like this before

Oh, oh, oh

The history of wrong guys:

Chapter one -- he’s a bum

Two -- he’s not into you

Three -- he’s a sleaze

Four -- loves the girl next door

Five -- loves the boy next door

Six -- don’t love you no more

-- makes you insecure

-- makes you so unsure

-- is so immature

-- loves his mother more

-- or...

... has a girlfriend named Nicola

CHARLIE

Ready to get to work?

LAUREN

Charlie, honestly

I’ve been hurt like this before

I can see there’s more to you

Than what I always thought

But I won’t be burned anymore

Oh, oh, oh

TRISH

Where you off to?

LAUREN

I been exec-utized.