Revenge of the Nerds

Annika, I long for that too

A parental figure to serve

Someone who could recognize the pain in me

And validate my hurt

Who could point me in a direction

And say walk this way and you'll be free

That I'd have a home there among them

in their little community

I think back on a teenage friend who introduced me to Marilyn Manson

In the darkest moments of high school

It channeled our frustration

He'd set up a poster of Britney

She was the face of all that was wrong

the hierarchy we'd never be part of and then he brought out his airgun

At a concert I met a punkgirl

She just walked up and asked my name

asked if I played any instruments

she had a band that could barely play

The band was mostly an excuse to wear leatherjackets and hang and go vandalize the swimsuit ads from H&M

while I carried their spraycans

The best song they ever wrote was called "Can't Get Laid Cause We're Too Ugly"

But they never blamed anyone for that

except Baywatch and Tuti Frutti

I had kind of a crush on the punkgirl but she had a crush on my friend

and despite my heart being punctured

I delivered the massage to him

But it only made him offended

he slammed the door to his room

Her interest became an insult

and confirmed what he thought he knew

And he was furious, so furious at all the Britney's that he couldn't get

I distanced myself when I saw what he'd written on the internet

I re-watched Revenge of the Nerds

Do you remember the speech 'bout being different?

How l cried when I saw that at 13

But do you remember the rape-scenes?Cause I didn't

Or how generally creepy the nerds are

The plot could be re-sunmarized this way:

Some athletes try to stop some sex criminals

from assaulting their partners, but fail.

I thought about this culture

that gave me strength when I felt like a freak

But also gave me an ulcer

from an anger that I couldn't speak

That I had somehow been robbed of a right

to love and sex that I deserved

A feeling that the game was rigged

Between alphamales and betanerds

And then lsla Vista happened

and the Toronto attack this spring

And I read these incel threads

they reminded me of something

I checked my old friend on Facebook

scared of what I would see

But he just posted pics of his family in his profile pic he looked happy

He had a photoalbum called "goodtimes"

with a photo where we try to look evil

in shirts that said,"How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?"