My Own Eyes

I saw a baby drive a truck

I saw a junkie eat a tuba

I saw a stripper kiss a duck

Behind a dumpster in Aruba

I saw this fat, psychotic guy

His underwear was made of crickets

He pawned a skeleton to buy

Some old expired lotto tickets

I saw a naked vagrant giving

Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to his cat

I probably could have gone my whole life

Without seeing that

With my own eyes

I see things that'd drive a normal man insane

Wish I could disconnect my brain

From my own eyes

I saw a mime get hacked to death

With an imaginary cleaver

I saw an old man's final breath

I watched him die from Bieber Fever

I saw these diabetic chicks

In an abandoned 7-Eleven

I watched them snorting pixie sticks

While they were belching Stairway To Heaven

I saw two drag queens trying to see how many crackers

They could shove up each other's nose

I'd like to erase my mind completely but I suppose

That's just the way it goes

With my own eyes

I see things that'd drive a normal man insane

Wish I could disconnect my brain

From my own eyes (my own eyes)

Those visions haunt my memory

Oh, there's so much I wish I could unsee

With my own eyes

Some priest got drunk and stole a circus zebra

And he trained it to massage his back

My guinea pig committed hara-kiri

So we used him to play hacky-sack

My neighbor's kids sold weapons grade plutonium

And frosty ice-cold lemonade

They took MasterCard and sometimes

Human organs in trade, that's how we paid

I have to say that it was really darn good lemonade

With my own eyes

I've seen thing that'd drive a normal man insane

Wish I could disconnect my brain

From my own eyes (my own eyes)

Those visions haunt my memory

Oh, there's so much I wish I could unsee

With my own eyes x4