歌词
[Intro]
都给我闭嘴，喔！
Everybody shut up, WOO!
都给我听好！
Everyone listen up!
嘿，嘿，嘿
Hey, hey, hey
嘿，嘿，嘿
Hey, hey, hey
嘿，嘿，嘿
Hey, hey, hey
要是你写不对
[Verse 1]
要是你不会变化词形
If you can't write in the proper way
你或许会拿不及格
If you don't know how to conjugate
或许你会发现
Maybe you flunked that class
别人在网上笑话你
And maybe now you find
好吧，现在有个法子
That people mock you online
我要教教你
[Bridge]
让你茅塞顿开
Okay, now here's the deal
学学术语
I'll try to educate ya
学学定义
Gonna familiarize
名词和介词
You with the nomenclature
你得能读能写
You'll learn the definitions
于是我认为这是好时机
Of nouns and prepositions
学学一些语法
Literacy's your mission
我结巴了吗
[Chorus]
研究一下语法
And that's why I think it's a good time
你得知道
To learn some grammar
啥时用“less”啥时用"fewer“
Now, did I stammer
就像那些
Work on that grammar
从不住下水道的人
You should know when
我恨这些文字罪行
It's "less" or it's "fewer"
比如”我很少在意“
Like people who were
意思是你在意
Never raised in a sewer
只不过很少
I hate these word crimes
不要成为傻冒
Like I could care less
你得慢慢来
That means you do care
得用对代词
At least a little
向世界证明你不是小丑
Don't be a moron
你有个“it”
You'd better slow down
再一个撇号和“s”
And use the right pronoun
那么这是啥意思？
Show the world you're no clown
看来你不会用"it's“
[Verse 2]
这是代表所属关系
Say you got a "It"
这是缩约形式
Followed by apostrophe, "s"
啥是缩约形式？
Now what does that mean?
这是词或词组的缩写
You would not use "it’s" in this case
可以省略发音或字母
As a possessive
好，有几点要注意
It's a contraction
你总是用错的句法
What's a contraction?
“Espresso”里没有“X”
Well, it's the shortening of a word, or a group of words
你分词一团糟
By the omission of a sound or letter
但我不要你的戏剧性
[Bridge]
如果你真的想
Okay, now here's some notes
别用什么牛津逗号
Syntax you’re always mangling
"be"和"see“和”are“和”you“
No X in "Espresso"
都是词，不是字母
Your participle's danglin'
结合起来
But I don't want your drama
检查一下拼写
If you really wanna
你绝对不应该
Leave out that Oxford comma
用数字代替单词
[Chorus]
除非你才七岁
"be", "see", "are", "you"
或者你是写歌的Prince
Are words, not letters
我恨这些文字罪行
Get it together
你真的需要一个
Use your spellchecker
全天候校对员
You should never
你个蠢哑巴
Write words using numbers
好吧，你得花钱雇
Unless you're seven
几位语言老专家
Or your name is Prince
让你擦亮眼睛
I hate these word crimes
什么才是正规的英语
You really need a
我还有一点要说
Full-time proofreader
来不及去学同音异义词了
You dumb mouthbreather
还有图解句子
Well, you should hire
是对"whom”说
Some cunning linguist
不要对“who”说
To help you distinguish
我来教你，仔细听好
What is proper English
不要去用引号来表强调
[Verse 3]
你已过了二年级
One thing I ask of you
我希望你能发现
Time to learn your homophones is past due
你干得好或干得不错
Learn to diagram a sentence too
找出不同之处
Always say to whom
反语不是巧事
Don't ever say to who
我认为你已明白了
And listen up when I tell you this
什么是比喻，什么是字面
I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis
哦，但你刚才说了
You finished second grade
你“简直不想起床”
I hope you can tell
这真让我想逐字逐句
If you're doing good or doing well
给你傻脑袋上来一棍子
Figure out the difference
我读了你的电子邮件
Irony is not coincidence
非常明明白白的是
And, I thought that you'd gotten it through your skull
你的语法太出格
What's figurative and what's literal
你驴唇不对马嘴
Oh but, just now, you said
看了你的博文
You "literally couldn't get out of bed"
真是太美妙了
That really makes me want to literally
这是讽刺（哦，完了！）
Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head
因为你写得像个麻痹病人
[Chorus]
我恨这些文字罪行
I read your e-mail
你的散文写得脑残
It's quite apparent
以为你只需
Your grammar's errant
用表情写文章
You're incoherent
哦，你是个例外
Saw your blog post
滚回幼儿园吧
It's really fantastic
滚出基因库吧
That was sarcastic (Oh, psych!)
努力别流口水
’Cause you write like a spastic
别在意，我放弃了
I hate these Word Crimes
就现在，我放弃了
Your prose is *****
嘿，嘿，嘿
Think you should only
嘿，嘿，嘿
Write in emoji
滚！
Oh, you're a lost cause
Go back to preschool
Get out of the gene pool
Try your best to not drool
[Outro]
Never mind, I give up
Really now, I give up
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Go Away!
专辑信息