Foil

I never seem to finish all my food

I always get a doggie bag from the waiter

So I just keep what's still unchewed

And I take it home, save it for later

But then I deal with fungal rot, bacterial formation

Microbes, enzymes, mould and oxidation

I don't care, I've got a secret trick up my sleeve

I never bother with baggies, glass jars, tupperware containers

Plastic cling wrap, really a no-brainer

I just like to keep all my flavours sealed in tight

With aluminum foil

Never settle for less

That kind of wrap is just the best

To keep your sandwich nice and fresh

Stick it in your cooler

Eat it when you're ready

But maybe you'll choose

A refreshing herbal tea

Mmm, lovely!

Oh, by the way, I've cracked the code

I've figured out these shadow organizations

And the Illuminati know

That they're finally primed for world domination

And soon you've got black helicopters comin' cross the border

Puppet masters for the New World Order

Be aware: there's always someone that's watching you

And still the government won't admit they faked the whole moon landing

Thought control rays, psychotronic scanning

Don't mind that, I'm protected cause I made this hat

From aluminum foil

Wear a hat that's foil lined

In case an alien's inclined

To probe your butt or read your mind

Looks a bit peculiar

Seems a little crazy

But someday I'll prove

There's a big conspiracy