I'm Doing My Best

What do you think when you see me?

Don't judge me, I'm doing my best

Why couldn't my life be easy?

Thats because mine is a test

And maybe I'm broken completely

I'm always so ****ing depressed

I'm meaningless, nobody needs me

I'm everyone's deepest regret

Yeah, this mind that I have is a sad one

This heart that I have is a black one

I contemplate using this handgun

I reminisce times that I had once

With the girl of my dreams that I had oncе

I used to have friends, now I havе none

I gotta just face it, I can't run

I'm cursed to be someone you can't love

More medication, I need it right now

All these prescriptions keep bringing me down

Crying for help but they don't hear a sound

Head underwater, tonight I might drown

I come from torture and horror, my life isn't normal

It kills me, I hate to reflect

I don't trust anyone, I said **** everyone

I can't think straight but I'm trying my best

Keep all my nightmares and secrets

I try but I can't let them go

They see my emotions as weakness

But they only see what I show

Some people call me a genius

Others would say I'm a joke

I can't escape from my demons

I'm stuck in this world without hope

Yeah, watch as my spirit disintegrates

Watch as my body obliterates

Trauma, it caused all this inner hate

Memories I can't eliminate

I'm going down the decisions made

This isn't sudden, I've been afraid

Crazy and hollow, I'm still the same

I can't break out of my sinful ways

Telling y'all sorrowful stories

And not for attention and not for the glory

It's just how I feel, I'm just doing this for me

That's why I don't sleep until 4 in the morning

And when Im on the mic, it's a suicide warning

I'm wearing a halo, already I'm soaring

But I ain't no angel, I'm evil, unholy

I'm merely a ghost in this city, I'm lonely

Yeah, looks are deceitful, search under the surface

Reality's fake, a ridiculous circus

Where finding your purpose means finding a purpose

And being yourself means you hide behind curtains

Just struggles and burdens, the pain only worsens

The future's uncertain, the past always lurking

The present converges but time's a diversion

From whatever's next, it doesn't concern us

True pain isn't something that just goes away

It stays inside you forever

And all you can do is pray for a better tomorrow

It may not come, but that's reality

It's just the world we live in

What do you think when you see me?

Don't judge me, I'm doing my best

Why couldn't my life be easy?

Thats because mine is a test

And maybe I'm broken completely

I'm always so ****ing depressed

I'm meaningless, nobody needs me

I'm everyone's deepest regret

Yeah, this mind that I have is a sad one

This heart that I have is a black one

I contemplate using this handgun

I reminisce times that I had once

With the girl of my dreams that I had once

I used to have friends, now I have none

I gotta just face it, I can't run

I'm cursed to be someone you can't love

DempseyRollBoy

In a world of my own