Carissa

Oh Carissa, when I first saw you,

you were a lovely child

And the last time I saw you,

you were fifteen and pregnant and running wild

I remember wondering,

could there be a light at the end of your tunnel?

But I left Ohio then

and pretty much forgotten all about you

I guess you were

there some years ago at a family funeral

But you were one of so many relatives

I didn't know which one was you

Yesterday morning I woke up to so many,

330 area code calls

I called my mom back and she was in tears

and asked had I spoke to my father

Carissa burned to death last night

in a freak accident fire

In her yard in Bruster her daughter

came home from a party and found her

Same way as my uncle who was her grandfather

An aerosol can blew up in the trash, goddamn,

what were the odds?

She was just getting ready to

go to her midnight shift as an RN is Rosworth

And she vanished up in flames like that

but there had to be more to her life's worth

Everyone's grieving out of their minds,

making arrangements and taking drugs

But I'm flying out there tomorrow

because I need to give and get some hugs

Cause I got questions

that I'd like to get answered

I may never get them,

but Carissa gotta know how did it happen

Carissa was thirty-five,

you don't just raise two kids

and take out your trash and die

She was my second cousin,

I didn't know her well at all but it don't mean that

I wasn't meant to find some poetry

to make some sense of this,

to find a deeper meaning

In a senseless tragedy,

oh Carissa I'll sing your name across every sea

Were you doing someone else's chores for them?

Were you just killing time,

finding things to do all by your lonesome?

Was it even you

who mistakenly put flammables in the trash

Was it your kids just being kids,

and so, oh, the guilt they will carry around forever

Well I'm going out there to get a look at the landscapes,

To get a look at those I'm connected by blood and see

how it all may have shaped me

Well I'm going out there though I'm not really needed

I'm just so broken up about it,

how is it that this sad history repeated?

I'll return to Ohio, to the place I was born

Gonna see where I hung with my cousins

and played with them in the snow

Fist in their palms,

gonna see how they've grown

Visit some greats and say hey I've missed you

Gonna find out as much as I can

about my little second cousin Carissa

Gonna go to Ohio, where I was born

Got a 10:45 AM flight, I'm leaving tomorrow morning

Gonna see my aunts and my uncles,

my parents and sisters

Mostly I'm going to pay my respects

to my little second cousin Carissa

Going to Ohio where I feel I belong

Ask those who know the most about Carissa

for it was her life and death that I'm helplessly drawn.

Carissa was thirty-five, raised kids

since she was fifteen years old and suddenly died

Next to an old river, fire pit,

oh there's gotta be more than that to it

She was only my second cousin but

it don't mean that I'm not here for her or that

I wasn't meant to give her life poetry,

make sure her name is known across every city