Bernadette

I don't want to leave, Bernadette,

But I don't want to live with the jet set.

I don't want to leave with you payin' all my debts,

With that alimony, palimony, whatever it is you get.

Ooh, Bernadette, you are so expensive.

You've never done a day's work in your life,

You've got no incentive.

You've made a career out of punting off all of the men you've slept with.

Ooh, Bernadette, you are so expensive.

I can't get a job, Bernadette,

So all that I can offer are a lot of bad debts

If you marry me, Bernadette,

You'll lose the alimony, palimony, whatever it is you get.

Ooh, Bernadette, you are so expensive.

You've never done a day's work in your life,

You've got no incentive.

You've made a career out of punting off all of the men you've slept with.

Ooh, Bernadette, you are so expensive.

Ooh, Bernadette, Bernadette.

Ooh, Bernadette, Bernadette.

Bernadette's got a house in the country,

She's really got it made.

Her lawyers made her filthy rich,

She's got all expenses paid.

Maybe a famous rock star will fly you away,

Then you'll eat him all up,

And spit him out,

With a dash of Perrier.

And when you've had enough

You'll throw him away,

And take him for all you can get.

Yeah, you like it don't you, Bernadette?

I don't want to leave Bernadette,

But I want to keep a little bit of self respect.

I don't want to leave with you paying all my debts,

With that alimony, palimony, whatever it is you get.

Ooh, Bernadette, you are so expensive.

You've never done a day's work in your life.

You've got no incentive.

Women like you oughta be locked up