Long Distance

Spent last winter playing in the sand

With the prisoners of the motherland

Damn hotel is feeling like a cell

And even paradise can be so cruel

Sitting by the swimming pool

Trying to keep my head together

In that hot Australia weather

Three days to kill and my per diem's getting low

Cause I spent all my money calling long distance

Calling long distance, such a long way from home

Am I talking to long distance, can you put me through?

Twelve thousand miles but I've got not resistance,

Long distance, long distance, long distance, long distance

Now the Road Hog's face is turning red

Larry's still asleep in bed

Romeo he can't get no head at all

And the Doctor looks on so annoyed

You disappoint me, Mr. Boyd

And the Electric Dwarf wishes he was six foot tall

Now Romeo's patience is wearing thin

C'mon baby, let me in

It's five a.m. and I've been creeping 'round the hall

Got no resistance calling long distance

You sound so close but your such a long way from home

Am I talking to long distance, can you put me through?

Twelve thousand miles but I've got not resistance,

Long distance, long distance, long distance, long distance

Still no points for my merrymen,

Except Ricard, he just scored ten

Now Road Hog's getting drunk again

And I only get to hold my pen

Instead of what I love to hold the most.

I feel so lonesome I could cry

Count the hours as they roll by

It's day time now

I think I'll make a call

Hello long distance, calling long distance

You sound so close but you're such a long way from home

You're such a long way from home