Harper Valley PTA

I want to tell you all the story

'Bout a Harper Valley widowed wife

Who had a teenage daughter

Who attended Harper Valley Junior High

Well, her daughter came home one afternoon

And didn't even stop to play

And she said, "Mom, I got a note here

From the Harper Valley PTA"

Well, the note says, "Mrs. Johnson

You're wearing your dresses way too high

It's reported you've been drinkin'

And a runnin' 'round with men and goin' wild"

"And we don't believe you ought to be

A bringin' up your little girl this way"

And it was signed by the secretary

Harper Valley PTA

Well, it happened that the PTA

Was gonna meet that very afternoon

And boy were sure surprised

When Mrs. Johnson wore her miniskirt into the room

And as she walked up to the blackboard

I can still recall the words she had to say

She said, "I'd like to address this meeting

Of the Harper Valley PTA"

"Well, there's Bobby Taylor sittin' there

And seven times he asked me for a date

And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lotta ice

Whenever he's away"

"And Mr. Baker, can you tell us

Why your secretary had to leave this town?

And shouldn't widow Jones be told

To keep her window shades all pulled completely down?"

"Well, Mr. Harper couldn't be here

'Cause he stayed too long at Kelly's Bar again

And if you'll smell Shirley Thompson's breath

You'll find she's had a little nip of gin"

"And then you have the nerve to tell me

You think that as a mother I not fit

Well, this is just a little Payton Place

And you're all Harper Valley hypocrites"

No, I wouldn't put you on

Because it really did it happened just this way

That day my mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA

That day my mama socked it to the Harper Valley PTA