Dog Treat (Remastered)

Thanks, uh... You know uh, this is weird uh...

Most of us have dogs, allright? [applause]

I don't know if it's a local thing where I live, or if it's everywhere, and I'm checking it with you because uh, I don't get in the area that often and I'm just checking to see if...

There's a new kind of a dog treat. And uh (where I live) and they're available in the pet store and for the longest time I just thought that it was some kind of a prank. Or uh...

I wasn't really sure what it was, until I read the label on the back and it said "Bull *****" [laughter]

I was a little shocked! I know you can get just about ANYTHING in this world.

You can get a whale's pancreas if you'd want one! I can get you one! [laughter]

But com'on, a bull's *****! How busy they were their whole lives.

And they throw it to a dog, like that, for a snack! [laughter]

Now, are they available here in the Los Angeles area? They are, aren't they?

Doesn't that make you a little weazy?

Makes you wanna live a long time.

And on the back, on the bottom it said: "100% natural"!

I mean... that's the part that really got me. And it said: "A Real Meat Snack".

There's just no dignity in that. Uh, anyway...

The other thing is that they're 36 inches long! [laughter]

They're so long they had to cut them into bite-size portions.

And then they take two of them and braid them together.

I know, I know! I never want it done. But uh...

This is a song written for Gregory Peck for his dating my mom...

That's a lie!