Thirsty

I came to under a red moon

Thirsty for water

My eyes were like shovels in the soil of the sky

Digging in to the night to find solace

Burying emptiness

I was heart-broken

Vomiting memories

Because I'd promised her everything

Then I did what I could not to recognize anything

So, here I was

Marching the town like a priest in my rapture

Muttering spells

So desperate for tenderness

So raw from the grating of senses

The way the day drinks every drop of my strength

It's relentless

I was digging out pence for a length of bad whisky

Me and my friends

Or at least

The others who slumped at the bar without peace

They embraced me as kindred, but

Something is missing

So, I was sat there at the bar with my forehead on my wrist

Thinking I had given all I had in me to give

When I saw her

Cross the floor like a firework exploding in slow motion

She touched me on the shoulder

And I started

To live

But I wasn't ready yet

I wanted sucker punch and numbness

The chase and the conquest of dating by numbers

The safety of keeping my distance and feeding

My hungers

She spoke of a truth that I could not confront

And she offered a peace

That my war didn't want

Because I liked being fangs and destruction

Suction and froth and dysfunction

I was dreaming

Talking too much with my friends in the evenings

I laughed very loud as if I was extremely

Happy

You should have seen me

Now I knew she sensed a glory

I could feel it in the way that I was standing

Two feet taller like I'd never been afraid

I didn't want her to know I wasn't everything she saw in me

We walked each other home

And didn't kiss

We walked each other home

And