Crazy Rap

Wait a minute, man, hey, check this out, tell it

It was this blind man, right?

Man, check this out it was this blind man, right?

He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right?

Hey, he walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'?

He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said

‽Woo, good morning ladies”, you like that *******t, man?

Hey, man, I got a gang of that *******t, man, I tell you what

My man on the guitar, fool on the drums

Everybody just crowd around the mic

I'll tell you all these mutha-******' jokes

But first, I'ma start it off like this

Hey, help me sing it, homeboy

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby, that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumble******

And as the ********* burns we can take our turns

Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong

Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dale, skatin' on Dayton rims

So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville

If my tapes and my CD's just don't sell, I bet my caddy will

Well, it was just sundown in a small white town

They call it East Side Palm Dale

When the Afroman walked through the white land

Houses went up for sale

Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap CD's

When I met a little girl named Jan

I let her ride in my Caddy 'cause I didn't know

Her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan

We ****** on the bed, ****** on the flo'

****** so long, I grew a ******' afro

Then I ****** to the left, ****** to the right

She sucked my ******* till the *******t turned white

I thought to myself, ‽Sheba, Sheba

Got my ass lookin' like a zebra”

I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way

Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet

I ran, I jumped out the back window

But her daddy, he was waitin' with a 2 x 4

Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right

The mutha-******* whooped my ass all night

But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad

That's the best damn ******* I ever had

I got a bag of ****** and a bottle of wine

I'm a ******* that ******* just one more time

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumble******

And as the ********* burns we can take our turns

Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong

Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dale, skatin' on Dayton rims

So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup De Ville

If my tapes and my CD's just don't sell, I bet my caddy will

I met this lady in Hollywood, she had green hair

But damn she looked good

I took her to my house, 'cause she was fine

But she whipped out a ******* that was bigger than mine

I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African

I ****** her once, I ****** her twice

I ate that ******* like shrimp fried rice

Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya

I met a woman in the heart of Australia

Had a big butt and big *******, too

So I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo

See, I met this lady from Hawaii

Stuck it in her ass, and she said, ‽Aie”

Lips was breakfast, ******* was lunch

Then her ******* busted open with Hawaiian Punch

Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky

She said, ‽I'll fry some chicken if you just ******* me”

I came in her mouth it was a crisis

I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumble******

And as the ********* burns we can take our turns

Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong

Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

Hey, wait a minute man, check this out

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee

Her ******* were filled with Hennessey

That country music nearly drove me crazy

But I rode that ass and said, ‽Yes, Miss Daisy”

Met this lady in Oklahoma put that ******* in a coma

Met this lady in Michigan, I can't wait till I ******* that ******* again

Met a real black girl in South Carolina

****** her till she turned into a white albino

****** this hooker in Iowa, I ****** her on credit, so I owe her

****** this girl, down in Georgia, came in her mouth

Man, I thought I told ya

Met this beautiful ***y ho

She just ran 'cross the border of Mexico

Fine young thing, said her name's Maria

I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla

I wanna get married, but I can't afford it

I know I'ma cry when she gets deported

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumble******

And as the ********* burns we can take our turns

Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong

Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

Have you ever went over to a girl's house to *******

But the ******* just ain't no good?

(Say what?)

And then you're getting' upset 'cause you can't get her wet

Plus you in the wrong neighborhood?

So you try to play it off and eat the *******

But it takes her so long to come

(Say what?)

Then a dude walks in, that's her big boyfriend

And he asks you where you from?

(Where you from, man?)

So you wipe your mouth, and you try to explain

(I don't bang)

You start talkin' real fast

But he's already mad, 'cause you ******' his wife

So he starts beatin' on your ass

Now your clothes all muddy, your nose all bloody

Your ******* was hard but now it's soft

(What?)

You thought you had a girl to rock your world

Now you still gotta go jack off

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumble******

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumble******

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumble******

...