There Are Much Worse Things To Believe In

Elvis: There are cynics, there are skeptics

There are legions of dispassionate dyspeptics

Who regard this time of year as a maudlin insincere

Cheezy crass commercial travesty of all that we hold dear

Stephen: When they think that

Well, I can hear it

But I pity them their lack of Christmas spirit

For in a world like ours, take it from Stephen

There are much worse things to believe in.

Elvis: A redeemer and a savior, an obese man giving toys for good behavior

Stephen: The faith in what might be and the hope that we might see

The answer to all sorrow in a box beneath the tree

Find them foolish

Elvis: Sentimental

Stephen: Well you're clearly none too bright

Both: so we'll be gentle

Stephen: Don't even try to start vaguely conceiving

Both: Of all much worse things to believe in

Stephen: Believe in the judgment, believe in Jihad

Believe in a thousand variations on a dark and spiteful god

Elvis: You've got your money, you've got your power

You've got your science, and all the planets going to end within the hour

Stephen: You've got your dreams that don't come true

Elvis: You've got the ones that do

Stephen: Then you've got your nothing

Both: Some folks believe in nothing

But if you believe in nothing

Then what's to keep the nothing from coming for you

Stephen: Merry Christmas, Happy New Year

Now if you'll forgive me there's a lot to do here

There are stockings still unhung

Colored lights I haven't strung

Elvis: And a one-man four-part Christmas carol waiting to be sung

Stephen: Call me silly, call me sappy

Call me many things, the first of which is happy

You doubt, but you're sad

I don't, but I'm glad

Both: I guess we're even

Stephen: At least that's what I believe in

Both: And there are much worse things