Have I Got A Present For You

I can't believe what Christmas

Has come to today

All these atheists and judges

Trying to take it away

No carols in our public schools

No trees at City Hall

And they wish you \"Season's Greetings\"

At the Shopping Mall

Ain't you sick of it all?

Chorus:

Well, there's a war on Christmas

It's under attack

But this year America's taking it back

Separate Church and State

That's what some lawyer said

I say it's time we separated

Him from his head

You can call me \"Unchristian\"

But that's not true

'Cause have I got a present for you

(spoken:) It's the thought that counts.

Christmas is as American

As apple pie

It's the late December version

Of the Fourth of July

And they may go by separate names

But Uncle Sam and Santa Claus are one and the same

So boys, take aim.

Chorus 2:

Hell, there's a war on Christmas

It's under attack

But this year America's taking it back

Separate Church and State

That's what some liberal said

I say it's time we liberated him from his head

You can call me \"Unchristian\"

But that's not true

Buddy, I got a present for you

(spoken:) Hope it's the right size.

O Say Can You See this Christmas

Baby Jesus, 'Tis of Thee

I'm placing 50 shining stars atop

The Statue of \"Libertree\"

Then I'll go and jingle the Liberty Bell

Hoist \"Old Glory\" with an elf

But if you say I can't deck my halls

Then I'll deck you myself.

Chorus 3:

Well, there's a war on Christmas

It's under attack

Hey, this year Old St. Nicholas is taking it back

He's firing guns from his reindeer

Dropping bombs from his sled

This year, if you were naughty, you're as good as dead

He's wearing red and white

But you can throw in blue

And has he got a present for you

And St. Toby's got one too

Yeah, we got a present for you

As in the A-C-L-U

(spoken:) Easy, Rudolph. Down boy.