I Will Get a Vasectomy

I just wanna show my appreciation to how much I love kids

And teens between the ages of twelve and seventeen

Why, are kids so ******* stupid?

Did their parents not beat them hard enough-enough-enough?

I try

To empathize with teens

Because when I was younger

I was stupid too-too-too

(It's true)

But then I realized

That I was never this stupid

My friends were never this stupid

Y'all are just dense-dense-dense

[01:24.26]Like damn

I'm really, really concerned

I wish your father would use that

Wooden spoon-spoon-spoon

(Just ******* beat them already)

I was being ironic man

What a ******* loser.

Do you have-

Listen kids

Being edgy is okay

But the same ten jokes in a row

That's not okay-okay-okay

Is that all you can come up with?

If you're gonna be racist at least be original, please

(Yeah, we're dead serious)

If you're under seventeen

Please don't ever talk to me

You think this is part of the act

But please don't come near me

Dude, get a load of this guy!

He-he-he's never heard of irony before!

What-what a ******* loser dude!

Jimmy it's past your bedtime

Dad no

Get back to bed

I was just being ironic

I don't care

No dad please

You're being a piece of *******t

Take these spanks you little *******

Daddy please, daddy please

Who do you think you are?

Who the ******* do you think you are?

Talking to people on the internet like you're some piece of *******t

Calling irony

Take these ******* spanks you dumbass kid.

I should've never given birth to you, you piece of *******t.

Take that, I'm out of here

******* you, son

If I should even call you son

Daddy, have you ever heard of irony before?

I was just kidding

That crying was ironic

I wasn't actually crying

What the ******* did you just say?

You want me to come back here? Huh?

No-nothing daddy, nothing

That's what I ******* thought

Go back to bed, it's 9PM