Crazy Rap

wait a minute' man. Hey' check this out' tell it. It was this blind man' right?

Man' check this out- it was this blind man' right?

He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick' right?

Hey. He walked past this fish market' you know what I'm sayin'?

He stopped' he took a deep breath' he said'

Woooooo' good morning' ladies.

You like that s*it' man? prett good Hey' man' I got a gang of that s*it' man.

I tell you what- my man on the guitar' fool on the drums'

everybody just crowd around the mic' I'll tell you all these mother****ers' jokes.

But first' I'ma start it off like this. Hey' help me sing it'

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags' baby that's all we need.

We can go to the park after dark' smoke that **********.

And as the ********* burns we can take our turns' singing them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong' sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.

So roll' roll' roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.

Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale' skatin' on Dayton rims.

So roll' roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.

If my tapes and my cds just don't sell' I bet my caddy will.

Well it was just sundown in a small white town. They call it Eastside Palmdale.

When the Afroman walked through the white land' houses went up for sale.

Well' I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap cds when I met a little girl named Jan.

I let her ride in my Caddy cause I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan.

We f****d on the bed' f****d on the flo'' f****d so long' I grew a f****n' afro.

Then I f****d to the left' f****d to the right. She sucked my **** 'til the s*it turned white.

I thought to myself' Sheba' Sheba! Got my ass lookin' like a ZEBRA!

I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way' until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet.

so I ran. I jumped out the back window' but her daddy' he was with waitin' a 2 x 4.

Oh' he beat me to the left' he beat me to the right. The mutha-f****r whooped my ass all night.

But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad' that's the best damn ***** I ever had.

I got a bag of **** and a bottle of wine. I'm a **** that ***** just one more time.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags' baby that's all we need.

We can go to the park after dark' smoke that **********.

And as the ********* burns we can take our turns' singing them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong' sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.

So roll' roll' roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.

Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale' skatin' on Dayton rims.

So roll' roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.

If my tapes and my cds just don't sell' I bet my caddy will.

I met this lady in Hollywood. She had green hair' but damn she looked good.

I took her to my house' cause she was fine' but she whipped out a **** that was bigger than mine.

I met this lady from Japan' never made love with an African.

I f****d her once' I f****d her twice. I ate that ***** like shrimp fried rice.

Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya. I met a woman in the heart of Australia.

Had a big butt and big t*****s' too' so I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo.

See' I met this lady from Hawaii. Stuck it in her ass' and she said' Aiiiiieeee!

Lips was breakfast' ***** was lunch' then her t*****s busted open with Hawaiian Punch.

Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky. She said' I'll fry some chicken if you just **** me.

I came in her mouth. It was a crisis. I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags' baby that's all we need.

We can go to the park after dark' smoke that **********.

And as the ********* burns we can take our turns' singing them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong' sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee. Her t*****s were filled with Hennesy.

That country music nearly drove me crazy' but I rode that ass and said' Yes' Miss Daisy!

Met this lady in Oklahoma; put that ***** in a coma.

Met this lady in Michigan; I can't wait 'til I **** that ***** again.

Met a real black girl in South Carolina; f****d her 'til she turned into a white albino.

F****d this hooker in Iowa. I f****d her on credit' so I owe her.

F****d this girl' down in Georgia; came in her mouth. Man' I thought I told ya.

Met this beautiful ***y ho; she just ran cross the border of Mexico.

Fine young thing' said her name's Maria. I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla.

I wanna get married' but I can't afford it. I know I'ma cry when she gets deported.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags' baby that's all we need.

We can go to the park after dark' smoke that **********.

And as the ********* burns we can take our turns' singing them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong' sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.

So roll' roll' roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.

Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale' skatin' on Dayton rims.

So roll' roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.

If my tapes and my cds just don't sell' I bet my caddy will.