歌词
I think it was–, I took my first Vicodin, it was just like, this feeling of "Ahh"
我想，我第一次服下止痛药时，那种感觉就像是“啊”的一下，瞬间解脱
You know, like everything was not only mellow, but didn't feel any pain
你懂的，仿佛周遭一切不仅仅只是自在轻飘，我还感受不到一点疼痛
They just didn't–, it just kind of numbed things
别人是理解不了的，它就直接麻木了所有感官
I don't know at what point exactly it started to be a problem
我不知确切从何时开始，这成为了我棘手的问题
I just remember likin' it more and more
我只记得我对它越来越迷恋依赖
People try to tell me that I had a problem
人们极力告诉我说我陷入麻烦了
I would say "Get that ****in' person out of here, I can't believe they said that shit to me, they know nothin' about my ****in' life, are they out of their ****in' mind?"
我则会说：“让那该死的人滚出去，我不敢相信他们会对我说这种鬼话，他们对我人生压根一无所知，他们是疯了吗？”
I'm not out there shootin' ******, I'm not out there ****in', you know, puttin' coke up my nose, I'm not smokin' crack
我又不是在吞云吐雾，我又不是在往鼻子里倒粉，我可不是在OD
You'rе struggling with the argument of "Do you have a problеm, or do you not have a problem? Can you control it, or can you not?"
你则极力据以力争：“你有什么问题吗，还是没有问题？你能控制好它吗，还是不行？”
And I literally thought I could control it
而我真的还以为我能够控制得很好
You're taking things that people are giving you that, you don't even know what the **** they are
人们给你的东西你只是接着，甚至都不知道它们是什么
They look like a pill, and they look– they're shaped like something that you take, so you take it, you know
看起来像药丸，形状也像是你一直在用的东西，你便吞了下去
Xanax, Valium, tomato-tomato
各式镇静药，安定片，致幻剂
You know what I mean? It's th– the same thing, it's all in the same family, **** it, take it
你懂我的意思吗？“全都是一种东西，一个品种出来的，拿去吧”
Had I had gotten to the hospital about two hours later, I would've died
我要不是两个小时以后去了医院，我绝对会一命呜呼
My organs were shutting down, my liver, kidneys, everything
我的器官功能都渐趋衰竭，我的肝、我的肾，所有器官
They were gonna have to put me on dialysis, they didn't think I was gonna make it
他们决定给我做渗析，他们都认为我挺不过来了
My bottom was gonna be death, within a month, I had relapsed
死亡就要成为我不愿触碰的底线，一个月内，我的旧疾复发
And shot right back up too, insane amount of pills that I was taking
我的药量也回到从前，我再次开始服药，药量今人咋舌
I remember just walking around my house and thinking every single day, like "I'm gonna ****ing die", like, I'm– I'm looking at my kids, and I need to be here for this
我记得我只是在家里徘徊，每一天都思考着，“我真的就要一命呜呼了”，而我看着我的孩子，我必须好好活着见证他们的成长
Coming off of everything, I literally was up twenty-four hours a day for three weeks straight
从这一切磨难中脱身以后，我简直一天二十四小时，整整三个星期全然清醒
And I mean not sleeping, not even nodding off for a ****ing minute
我意思是我无法睡去，就连一分钟瞌睡也无法沉浸
Like, I was literally just up, like, looking at the TV
我就只是醒着，出神地看着电视
I had to regain motor skills, I had to regain talking skills
我必须重新掌握生理机能，重新学习说话技能
It's been a– a learning process, like, it's been, I'm growing
这是一种漫长的学习过程，仿佛我正在一步步成长
I just couldn't believe that anybody could ever be naturally happy, or naturally function, or be just enjoying life in general, without being on something
我只是不敢相信，任何人能够不用上瘾就能够天生幸福，或是全身健全，或总的来说就只是享受人生
So, I would say that t– to anybody that I– it does get better, you know? It just– it does
所以，我想对所有人说，事实就是一切真的在渐入佳境，什么都会好起来的，千真万确
专辑信息