Deja Vu

DMC, we have a mid-thirties male found down, unresponsive

Possible overdose, substance unknown

Pulse is 60 and thready, respiration's eight

He's intubated and we're bagging him now

BP 90 over palp

Patient is cool, pale, and diaphoretic

Has aspirated, GSC is 3

We'll update en route ETA ten minutes

As I fall deeper into a manic state

I'm a prime candidate for the gene to receive the drug addict trait

Blood pressure climbs at a dramatic rate

I seem to gravitate to the bottle of NyQuil then I salivate

Start off with the NyQuil like, I think I'll just have a taste

Couple of sips of that then I gradually graduate

To a harder prescription drug called Valium like, yeah that's great

I go to just take one, and I end up like having eight

Now I need something in my stomach cause I haven't ate

Maybe I'll grab a plate of nachos and I'll have a steak

And you'd think that with all I have at stake

Look at my daughter's face

"Mommy, something is wrong with Dad I think

He's acting weird again, he's really beginning to scare me

Won't shave his beard again and he pretends he doesn't hear me

And all he does is eat Doritos and Cheetos

And he just fell asleep in his car

eating 3 Musketeers in the rear seat"

Sometimes I feel so alone, I just don't know

Feels like I been down this road before

So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me

As soon as I go home and close the door

Kinda feels like déjà vu

I wanna get away from this place, I do

But I can't and I won't

Say I try, but I know that's a lie

Cause I don't, and why I just don't know

"Maybe just a nice cold brew, what's a beer?"

That's the devil in my ear I've been sober a fuckin' year

And that fucker still talks to me he's all I can fuckin' hear

"Marshall, come on we'll watch the game

It's the Cowboys and Buccaneers"

And maybe if I just drink half I'll be half-buzzed

For half of the time

Who's the mastermind behind that little line?

With that kind of rationale, man I got half a mind

To have another half a glass of wine

Sounds asinine, yeah I know,

But I never had no problem with alcohol

Ouch, look out for the wall

Aim for the couch, I'm 'bout to fall

I missed the couch and down I go lookin' like a bouncy ball

Shit musta knocked me out 'Cause I ain't feel the ground at all

Wow, what the fuck happened last night? Where am I?

Man, fuck am I hungover, and goddamn I

Got a headache, shit half a Vicodin, why can't I

All systems ready for take off, please stand by

Sometimes I feel so alone, I just don't know

Feels like I been down this road before

So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me

As soon as I go home and close the door

Kinda feels like déjà vu

I wanna get away from this place, I do

But I can't and I won't

Say I try, but I know that's a lie

Cause I don't, and why I just don't know

So I take a Vicodin, splash it hits my stomach then, ahhhh

Couple of weeks go by it ain't even like I'm gettin' high

Now I need it just not to feel sick, yeah I'm gettin' by

Wouldn't even be taking this shit if DeShaun didn't die

Oh yeah, there's an excuse, you lose Proof so you use

There's new rules, it's cool if it's helpin' you to get through

It's twelve noon, ain't no harm in self inducin' a snooze

What else is new, fuck it what would Elvis do in your shoes

Now here I am three months later, full-blown relapse

Just get high until the kids get home from school, holmes Relax

And since I'm convinced that I'm an insomniac

I need these pills to be able to sleep, so I take three naps

Just to be able to function throughout the day, let's see

That's an Ambien each nap, how many Valium, three

And that will average out to about one good hour's sleep

Ok, so now ya see, the reason how come he

Has taken four years to just put out an album, B

See, me and you, we almost had the same outcome Heath

'Cause that Christmas you know the whole pneumonia thing?

It was bologna, was it the methadone, ya think?

Or the hydrocodone you hide inside your pornos

Your VCR tape cases, with your Ambien CR

Great places to hide 'em, ain't it?

So you can lie to Hailie

I'm goin' beddy bye, Whitney baby

Good night Alaina!

Go in the room and shut the bedroom door

And wake up in an ambulance

They said they found me on the bathroom floor

Damn

Sometimes I feel so alone, I just don't know

Feels like I been down this road before

So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me

As soon as I go home and close the door

Kinda feels like déjà vu

I wanna get away from this place, I do

But I can't and I won't

Say I try, but I know that's a lie

Cause I don't, and why I just don't know

Elamivl