When You Play the Violin

I have known little civility, sir

Few have been kind, fewer truthful

And though within my ability, sir

I remain dutifully youthful

I go gray, then bald, with chagrin

When you play the violin

How I pray for death to begin

When you play the violin

True, there's been trouble and trickery, sir

Trembling and tribulations

Twitches from switches of hickory, sir

You, sir, and your usurpation

But my patience wears very thin

When you play the violin

How I stay, I can't imagine

When you play the violin

I've endured struggling and thuggery, sir

Physical ed. and psychosis

Sculleries, skulls, and skullduggeries, sir

Haplessness, hype and hypnosis

But, oy vey! The horrible din

When you play the violin

You betray an ear made of tin

When you play, when you slay the violin