Right, Said Fred

"Right," said Fred, "Both of us together

One each end and steady as we go."

Tried to shift it, couldn't even lift it

We was getting nowhere

And so we had a cuppa tea and

"Right," said Fred, "Give a shout for Charlie."

Up comes Charlie from the floor below.

After strainin', heavin' and complainin'

We was getting nowhere

And so we had a cuppa tea.

And Charlie had a think, and he thought we ought to take off all the handles

And the things wot held the candles.

But it did no good, well I never thought it would

"All right," said Fred, "Have to take the feet off

To get them feet off wouldn't take a mo."

Took its feet off, even took the seat off

Should have got us somewhere but no!

So Fred said, "Let's have another cuppa tea."

And we said, "right-o."

"Right," said Fred, "Have to take the door off

Need more space to shift the so-and-so."

Had bad twinges taking off the hinges

And it got us nowhere

And so we had a cuppa tea and

"Right," said Fred, "Have to take the wall down,

That there wall is gonna have to go."

Took the wall down, even with it all down

We was getting nowhere

And so we had a cuppa tea.

And Charlie had a think, and he said, "Look, Fred,

I get a sort of feelin'

If we remove the ceiling

With a rope or two we could drop the blighter through."

"All right," said Fred, climbing up a ladder

With his crowbar gave a mighty blow.

Was he in trouble, half a ton of rubble landed on the top of his dome.

So Charlie and me had another cuppa tea

And then we went home.

( I said to Charlie, "We'll just have to leave it

Standing on the landing, that's all

You see the trouble with Fred is, he's too hasty

You'll never get nowhere if you're too hasty." )