Introduction

Spoken live introduction:

I should like to introduce now the featured artist of this evening's... ordeal.

I'm sure that you will all agree without any hesitation that Tom Lehrer is the

most brilliant creative genius that America has produced in almost 200 years,

so perhaps a few words of biographical background might not be amiss.

Endowed by nature with perhaps the most glorious baritone voice to be heard

on an American stage since the memorable concert debut in 1835 of Millard

Fillmore; endowed also with twelve incredibly agile fingers; Mr. Lehrer has

had a long and varied career in the field of entertainment starting with

nine years at Harvard University..., where it was that he first decided to

devote his life to what has since become a rather successful scientific

project – namely, the attempt to prolong adolescence beyond all previous

limits.

Even before he came to Harvard, however, he was well known in academic

circles for his masterly translation into Latin of "The Wizard of Oz",

which remains even today the standard Latin version of that work. A few

years ago he was inducted..., forcibly..., into the United States Army and

spent most of his indenture in Washington as sort of Army liaison to the

Office of Navel Contemplation. About his service record he is justifiably

modest, but it is known that in a short time he rose to the rank of brigadier

general. However, before he could acquire a tenure, he was discharged, and

owing to nepotism and intrigue, he emerged with only the rank of specialist

3rd class, which was roughly equivalent to the rank of corporal without

portfolio.

But to return to his career in show business: For several years he toured

vaudeville theaters with an act consisting of impressions of people in the

last throes of various diseases. I'm sure that many of you here tonight still

recall with pleasure his memorable diphtheria imitation. He is generally

acknowledged to be the dean of living American composers, and is currently

working on a musical comedy based on the life of Adolf Hitler.

Without further ado – Tom Lehrer:

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You'd be amazed at the money we save that way . . .