The Biggest Thing That Man Has Ever Done (The Great Historical Bum)

I'm just a lonesome traveler, The Great Historical Bum.

Highly educated from history I have come.

I built the Rock of Ages, 'twas in the Year of One

And that was about the biggest thing that man had ever done.

I worked in the Garden of Eden, that was the year of two,

Joined the apple pickers union, I always paid my due;

I'm the man that signed the contract to raise the rising sun,

And that was about the biggest thing that man had ever done.

I was straw boss on the Pyramids, the Tower of Babel, too;

Opened up the ocean let the migrant children through,

I fought a million battles and I never lost a one,

And that was about the biggest thing that man had ever done.

I beat the daring Roman, I beat the daring Turk,

Defeated Nero's army with thirty minutes work,

I fought the greatest leaders and I licked them everyone

And that was about the biggest thing that man had ever done.

I was in the Revolution when we set the country free;

It was me and a couple of Indians that dumped the Boston tea;

We won the battle at Valley Forge, the battle of Bully Run;

And that was about the biggest thing that man has ever done.

There was a man across the ocean, I guess you knew him well,

His name is Adolf Hitler, goddam his soul to hell;

We kicked him in the panzers and put him on the run,

And that'll be the biggest thing that man has ever done.

I built mines and mills and factories to run for Uncle Sam;

I turned th' ploughs and wheels to feed my soldiers in your lands;(?

This Nazi job's a tough 'un, it'll take us everyone,

'Cause this will be the biggest thing that man has ever done.

There's warehouse guys and teamsters and guys that skin the cats

Guys that run my steel mill, my furnace and my blast

We'll stop the Axis rattlesnakes and thieves of old Nippon

And that'll be the biggest thing that man has ever done.

I'd better quit my talking, 'cause I told you all I know,

But please remember, pardner, wherever you may go,

The people is digging Hitler's grave, and when the job is done

That'll be the biggest thing that man has ever done.Yeah!

That'll be the biggest thing that man has ever done.