I Can't Do It Alone

Ladies and gentlemen

Miss Velma Kelley in

and act--of desperation

My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop

My sister and I were headed straight for the top

My sister and I earned a thou a week at least

oh yeah

But my sister is now unfortunately

deceased

I know it's sad of course

but a fact is still a fact

And now all that remains is the remains

Of a perfect double act

Watch this

Now you have to imagine it with two people

— it's swell with two people

First I'd--

Then she’d—

Then we’d—

But I can't do it alone

Then she’d—

Then I’d—

Then we’d—

But I can't do it alone

She'd say

What's your sister like? “

I’d say "Man..."

She'd say "You're the cat's meow!"

Then we'd wow the crowd again

When she'd go--

I’d go—

We'd go—

Then those ding-dong daddies started a roar!

Whistles, stomped, stamped on the floor

Yellin' screamin' begging for more—

And we'd say

”Ok fellas, keep your socks up,"

"cause you ain't seen nothin' yet!"

But I simply cannot do it alone!

So what do you think, huh?

Come on, you can say it...

(Roxie blows raspberry) （Roxie

I know you're right

the first part's s**t

But the second part

the second part is really nifty!

Ok

She'd go—

I’d go—

We'd go—

And then those two-bit Johnnys dug in the ground

To cheer the best attraction in town

Nearly tore the balcony down!!

And we'd say

"OK fellas, we're going home, but before we go— “

Here's a few more parting shots!"

And this, this we did in perfect unison!—

You see me goin' through it

You may think there's nothin' to it

But I simply cannot do it alone!