Lets Just Be Friend

You call me up on the phone and ask me to come over and cuddle

I think you must want me or else you'd be a little more subtle

We go into your room

Get in your bed

My lap is where you decide to rest your head

And just as I'm about to make my move you say

You're my straight gay friend my straight gay friend

You're closer to me than the rest of those men

Too sweet to try to get in my pants

I appreciate you not trying to advance

And I say don't mention it I'm here for you

But the subtext is damn it my balls are blue

I can't believe I just got LJBF'ed again

Another let's just be friends!

Well I'm out at the bar and I see her standing there (Dude she is so freakin' hot)

She walks up to me and runs her fingers through my hair (Aw yeah!)

We drive back to her place

She says take off your shirt

I'm gonna change out of this tiny skirt

So it doesn't get dirty, then what's that I see in your hand

It's a can of paint and a roller too

She said you seem like such a nice guy so here's what we'll do

We'll paint my room watch Will and Grace on TV

Just like when it was my brother and me

You're my straight gay friend my straight gay friend

You're closer to me than the rest of those men

You're cute and nonthreatening and nice to me

Thanks for being that way baby

I say don't worry about it that's nice of you to say

But In my mind we're doing it ten different ways

I can't believe I just got LJBF'ed again

Another lets just be friends

What you girls don't understand

Is that guys like me we've got enough friends

And it fills me up with so much spite

When you talk about the douchebag you were with last night

I'm finally doing it right with this awesome hotty

She says sweet words to me and is feeling all over my body

When we wake up from that crazy night

I look at you and realize my eyes were not right

That beer made my brain lie she's a big old cow

And when she tries to make a move right now

I say Let's just be friends let's just be friends

I know it felt like that night would never end

But you seem so nice don't want ruin it with ***

I gotta go now but I'll give you a text

I run for the hills and can't help but feel hexed

And you ladies out there really get me vexed

I'm gonna staple a sign to my face that says

I've got no interest in being your friend (Being your friend!)