Language Or the Kiss

I don't know if it was real or in a dream

Lately waking up I'm not sure where I've been

There was a table set for six and five were there

I stood outside and kept my eyes upon that empty chair

And there was steam on the windows from the kitchen

Laughter like a language I once spoke with ease

But I'm made mute by the virtue of decision

I choose most of your life goes on without me

Oh the fear I've known

That I might reap the praise of strangers and end up on my own

All I've sown was a song

But maybe I was wrong

I said to you the one gift which I'd adore

Unwrap a package of the next 10 years unfolding

But you told me if I had my way I'd be bored

Right then I knew I loved you best born of your scolding

When we last talked we were lying on our backs

Looking up at the sky through the ceiling

I used to lie like that alone out on the driveway

Trying to read the greek upon the stars the alphabet of healing

Oh I knew back then

It was a calling that said if joy then pain

The sound of the voice these years later is still the same

I am alone in a hotel room tonight

I squeeze the sky out but there's not a star appears

Begin my studies with this paper and this pencil

And I'm working through the grammar of my fears

Mercy what I won't give

To have the things which mean the most not to mean the things I miss

Unforgiving the choice still is

The language or the kiss