Dentist!

[ORIN]When I was younger, just a bad little kid

My mama noticed funny things I did

Like shootin' puppies with a BB gun

I'd poison guppies, and when I was done

I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head

That's when my mama said

(What did she say?)

She said, "My boy, I think someday

You'll find a way

To make your natural tendencies pay

You'll be a dentist

(You'll be a dentist)

You have a talent for causin' things pain

(Pain)

Son, be a dentist

(Son, be a dentist)

People will pay you to be inhumane

(Inhumane)

Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood

And teaching would suit you still less

Son, be a dentist

You'll be a success"

[CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON]Here he is, girls

the leader of the plaque!

Watch him suck up that gas!

Oh, my god!

He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good

Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade?

Oh, that hurts! I'm not numb!

[ORIN]Ah, shut up. Open wide, here I come!

I am your dentist

(Goodness, gracious!)

And I enjoy the career that I picked

(Ya' love it!)

I am your dentist

(Fitting braces)

And I get off on the pain I inflict

(You really love it)

When I start extracting those molars

You girls will start screaming like holy rollers

(Dentist)

And though it may cause my patients distress

(Distress)

Somewhere in Heaven above me

I know that my mama's proud of me

'Cause I'm a dentist and a success

Say ah!

(Ah!)

Say ah!

(Ah!)

Say ah!)

(Ah!)

Now spit!