The Ladies Who Lunch

[JOANNE]

Here's to the ladies who lunch-

Everybody laugh

Lounging in their kaftans

And planning a brunch

On their own behalf

Off to the gym

Then to a fitting

Claiming they're fat

And looking grim

'Cause they've been sitting

Choosing a hat

Does anyone still wear a hat?

I'll drink to that

And here's to the girls who slay smart-

Aren't they a gas?

Rushing to their classes

In optical art

Wishing it would pass

Another long exhausting day

Another thousand dollars

A matinée, a Pinter play

Perhaps a piece of Mahler's

I'll drink to that

And one for Mahler!

And here's to the girls in their prime-

Aren't they too much?

Keeping house but clutching

A copy of TIME

Just to keep in touch

The ones who follow the rules

And meet themselves at the schools

Too busy to know that they're fools

Aren't they a gem?

I'll drink to them!

Let's all drink to them!

And here's to the girls who just watch-

Aren't they the best?

When they get depressed

It's a bottle of Scotch

Plus a little jest

Another chance to disapprove

Another brilliant zinger

Another reason not to move

Another vodka stinger

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!

I'll drink to that

So here's to the girls on the go-

Everybody tries

Look into their eyes

And you'll see what they know:

Everybody dies

A toast to that invincible bunch

The dinosaurs surviving the crunch

Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch-

Everybody rise!

Rise! Rise!

Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rise!

Rise!