Monster In Me

Look

To you, I'm different

It's cause I refuse to listen

To all the stupid shit that you include in your opinions

I got enough issues trying to be a human

Living in a ruined system

While I'm running from a crucifixion

You'll never get it

I put myself in this position

And nothing you could do could ever worsen my condition

So while you tryna play the villain

Understand that I'm the monster in my blood

Looking for a way to spill it

I can't wait till you see what I make

When I paint the walls red with a gun to my brain

And I can't wait to see the look on your face

When I lay in my own grave, I was never afraid to die

Nah I'm playing

I'd never follow through

And I'm never gonna do what you want me to

I'm staying

My mind's racing

You think it's cause of you

But my thoughts are like a room

You ain't even in my basement

A day passes, I don't ask myself who am I

And I have a habit of imagining my suicide

The thoughts I'm having got me battling my stupid mind

Why does every situation have to be a do or die?

Have to be a foolish lie?

Something that I used to tell myself that always seems to make me lose my cool inside

Makes me think I'm cool with dying

But really all I wanna do is spit the truth

And watch my dreams and points of view align

I think there's something wrong inside my head

I'm getting anxious

I've lost all hope I had of staying calm

I cannot stand this

So bite your tongue and walk away because I need a minute

I feel the blood run through my veins and there's a

Monster in it

You don't wanna see the monster

You don't wanna see the monster

You don't wanna see the monster

You don't wanna see the monster in my blood

You don't wanna see the monster

You don't wanna see the monster I become

My mind's a prison

Confinement living

The lights are dimmed and no one tries to visit

Time is ticking

To find the missing

Keys to the cell I'm in or die within it

I wish I had a minute, I would make amends

With the demons that are moving in my vacant head

Maybe I'd convince 'em we'd be great as friends

Maybe then they would listen, it's you we hate instead

I could take my meds or I could pray it ends

Or make a deal with the devil, maybe pay him rent

My only other choice is fill my brain with lead

Or keep on living with the voices till the day I'm dead

Now you know that I'm the only person that can dig my grave

But didn't pay attention 'cause I went and did it yesterday

It's got me thinking that there's gotta be a better way

I'll start by laying you to sleep and tuck you in the bed I made

You'll never get the best of me

I'll bury you with all my skeletons that always had a negative effect on me

You won't ever get away

I never hesitate

I'll close the lid and fill the hole then throw a rose and celebrate

I think there's something wrong inside my head

I'm getting anxious

I've lost all hope I had of staying calm

I cannot stand this

So bite your tongue and walk away because I need a minute

I feel the blood run through my veins and there's a

Monster in it

You don't wanna see the monster

You don't wanna see the monster

You don't wanna see the monster

You don't wanna see the monster in my blood

You don't wanna see the monster

You don't wanna see the monster I become