Eminem Speaks

I think it was–, I took my first Vicodin

It was just like, this feeling of "Ahh"

You know, like everything was not only mellow

But didn't feel any pain

They just didn't–, it just kind of numbed things

I don't know at what point exactly it started to be a problem

I just remember likin' it more and more

People try to tell me that I had a problem

I would say "Get that ****in' person out of here

I can't believe they said that shit to me

They know nothin' about my ****in' life

Are they out of their ****in' mind?"

I'm not out there shootin' ******

I'm not out there ****in', you know

Puttin' coke up my nose, I'm not smokin' crack

You're struggling with the argument of

"Do you have a problem

Or do you not have a problem?

Can you control it, or can you not?"

And I literally thought I could control it

You're taking things that people are giving you that

You don't even know what the **** they are

They look like a pill, and they look–

They're shaped like something that you take

So you take it, you know

Xanax, Valium, tomato-tomato

You know what I mean? It's th– the same thing

It's all in the same family, **** it, take it

Had I had gotten to the hospital about two hours later

I would've died

My organs were shutting down, my liver, kidneys, everything

They were gonna have to put me on dialysis

They didn't think I was gonna make it

My bottom was gonna be death, within a month, I had relapsed

And shot right back up too, insane amount of pills that I was taking

I remember just walking around my house and thinking every single day

Like "I'm gonna ****ing die", like, I'm– I'm looking at my kids

And I need to be here for this

Coming off of everything

I literally was up twenty-four hours a day for three weeks straight

And I mean not sleeping, not even nodding off for a ****ing minute

Like, I was literally just up, like, looking at the TV

I had to regain motor skills, I had to regain talking skills

It's been a– a learning process, like, it's been, I'm growing

I just couldn't believe that anybody could ever be naturally happy

Or naturally function, or be just enjoying life in general, without being on something

So, I would say that t– to anybody that I– it does get better, you know? It just– it does