No Irish Need Apply

I'm a decent boy just landed from the town of Ballyfad

I want a situation, yes, and wants it very bad

I seen employment advertised - "It's just the thing," says I

But the dirty spalpeen ended with 'No Irish Need Apply'

"Woah," says I, "but thats an insult, though to get the place I'll try"

So I went to see the blaggard with his 'No Irish Need Apply'

Some may think it a misfortune to be christened Pat or Dan

But to me it is an honor to be born an Irishman

Well I started out to find the house, I got it mighty soon

There I found the old chap seated, he was reading the Tribune

I told him what I came for, when he in a rage did fly

"No!" he says, "you are a Paddy, and no Irish need apply"

Well I gets my dander risin', I'd like to black his eye

To tell an Irish gentleman, 'No Irish Need Apply'

Some may think it a misfortune to be christened Pat or Dan

But to me it is an honor to be born an Irishman

Well I couldnt stand it longer, so ahold of him I took

And I gave him such a whelping as he'd get at Donnybrook

He hollered "Milia murther," and to get away did try

And swore he'd never write again 'No Irish Need Apply'

Well he makes a big apology, I bid him then good-bye

Saying "when next you want a beating, write 'No Irish Need Apply'"

Some may think it a misfortune to be christened Pat or Dan

But to me it is an honor to be born an Irishman