The Waitress Song

Hi, how're you doing?

Just a, ah... big breakfast and a large black coffee, thanks

Cheers

I love you

And there's a place I go for breakfast every afternoon

The coffee's rubbish and the bacon's always hard to chew

And the toast is always soggy

But I hardly notice

And the food takes such a long time to get made

Even when I'm the only person in the café

And my table's always wobbly

But I hardly notice

Yeah

You're probably thinkin' why would I even bother

Eatin' there on a daily basis, there's heaps of other places on offer

Why not change to another place if the bacon is rubber

And the taste of the cuppa makes you pull faces and splutter?

It's the waitress, I love her, the way she clears plates with a clutter

Makes my heart race and it flutters, I know it's crazy to love a

Lady that's basically just a stranger with an apron down her

Brother, I don't need to ask her name and number

'Cause this relationship is built on breakfast

I'm waiting on her just to wait on me

And there's a place I go for breakfast every afternoon

The coffee's rubbish and the bacon's always hard to chew

And the toast is always soggy

But I hardly notice

And the food takes such a long time to get made

Even when I'm the only person in the café

And my table's always wobbly

But I hardly notice

She says "Hi" to me, "Bye" to me, "That'll be five-ninety-five" to me

I don't really mind, that's all right with me

I just smile and eat, sometimes we mightn't speak for like a week

She knows during my quiet times I like to be alone

And write a poem with my headphones

Newspaper, bacon fried up, poached egg, slice of toast

A long black, but the beans are always burnt

And if the cup is dirty, she just cleans it with her shirt

I wonder if she's my ideal girl

And what would happen if we dated in the real world

Nah, I don't think it would work

I wouldn't wanna risk what we have and have to tip 'cause of that

Besides, this relationship is built on breakfast

I'm waiting on her just to wait on me

And there's a place I go for breakfast every afternoon

The coffee's rubbish and the bacon's always hard to chew

And the toast is always soggy

But I hardly notice

And the food takes such a long time to get made

Even when I'm the only person in the café

And my table's always wobbly

But I hardly notice

And it don't matter that the bacon I eat's cold

And it's okay the newspapers are weeks old

But I don't mind, no, it's fine 'cause she's all

That I'm there for

And it don't matter that the bacon I eat's cold

And it's okay the newspapers are weeks old

But I don't mind, no, it's fine 'cause she's all

That I'm there for

And there's a place I go for breakfast every afternoon

The coffee's rubbish and the bacon's always hard to chew

And the toast is always soggy

But I hardly notice

And the food takes such a long time to get made

Even when I'm the only person in the café

And my table's always wobbly

But I hardly notice