Apprehension

I still feel apprehensive

To go on with the way I live

I always forget the person I really am

I always forget I'm a person outside my head

But I can't really kill myself yet

It's ****ed up that I would even consider it

I just live with all this apprehension

Others know I'll always have my compassion

And that's sad

I'm worth more than that

To be thinking constantly

To be worrying, of everything

Even the thoughts that bother me

And what that says 'bout me as a person

I always try my best not to question it

Why the **** do I have to question it?

When I clearly don't even **** with that?

.

I don't want to make my mom cry

I don't want to make my grandma cry

I don't want to make the homies cry

I don't want to make my brother cry

I don't want to make my sisters cry

I don't want to make my nephew cry

I don't want to make myself cry

I don't want to make my girlfriend cry