Mandy Goes to Med School

Mandy Goes To Med School

Artist: The Dresden Dolls

Album: Yes, Virginia

I've been feeling dull as a coat hanger

Pretty as a picture of a patient on a flash IV

Giddy as a gangbanger with a set of sutures

Where his magic Johnson ought to be

Yes, I'll tell you just the thing

You need to be the next big thing

Let's start in with a test of your intelligence

And zest for the counter productive

Up and down and round about and

Out the back and keep your mouth shut tight

The lights are staying out but no sweat

I've got aim like a mack truck

Guess how many fingers, OK

Guess how many more I can fit there

Guess right get the toaster but you know

Miss, guessing gets you nowhere

I've been baking cakes for the enemy

I've been dying to find out the hard way

I've been taking friends to the alleyway

Two down now but who's counting anyway

Yes, I can do everything you need

From out of my new SUV

All my work is guaranteed

To last the length of your recovery

Put away those pliers honey trust me

Cause I know the options

How about a nine-month long vocation

And a two-foot coffin

I've been getting up close and intimate

Some close calls but I'm getting into it

In some states they say you can burn for it

But I'll burn that bridge when I get to it

It's not a bad thing to get professional

It's got a nice ring Mandy goes to med school

I've been taking tips from the government

I've been getting damn good at hiding it

Fifty bucks a month ought to cover it

Two down now but who's gonna notice it

And if you show up and I am unavailable

My partner Brian would love to take care of you

He is a nice man thoroughly reliable

He's in a rock band and he goes to med school

Oh he goes to med school

He goes to med school