Pr0n S0ng

Click close.

You gotta click close.

Just got hard-pressed underneath my desk

no jest! It's time Frontalot confessed:

at the best of times got the worst of rhymes

and I don't think I'm the first to find

my life devoted less to lyrics

than it is to my struggle for Pyrrhic

victory in the race to be

the intarweb's number one devotee

of smutty little things that occur on screen.

(Risqué to hey! Quintuple-X obscene.)

MILFs who shave themselves so cleanly

twins in positions unseemly.

My spleen ain't the part that gets vented

I grabbed a hold and fapped like I meant it.

Distended, probably oughta leave it alone

spend more time stroking on the microphone.

Got a boatload of midgets and they're in command

of a full-grown woman on her knees and hands.

Got a long hard donkey and a farmgirl too

and the braying's so dismaying when he starts to spoo.

You gotta click close, put it away

'cause the internet is f-i-l-t-h-y.

Lurking in #pass chans on the IRC,

got DCC’d unexpectedly

with an 80-minute XviD: Nuns In Heat

Part III: Bad Habits. I’m so l337

that I had that one already.

Skipped to the part with the fishnet teddy.

Whipped it out, but to my chagrin,

one toss from a win when the boss walked in,

said “nuh-uh Front, that terminal ain’t

for a latex crucifix spanking a taint

in big 32-bit color

while them rosary beads get yanked out the cruller.”

I said “you can’t fire me; I quit!”

Opened up the case, yanked out the hard disk.

Absconded, all with the data in hand:

31 years of Hustler scans;

plans for how to construct a love-swing;

alt.binaries.everything

archived since spring of ’92;

receipt for my RealDoll’s stripper shoes;

tools for an online poll I ran

(vote once, tub girl or goatse man);

glands galore, explore for hours;

diaper play and roman showers;

glory hole video, deep as it gets;

mpegs of an heiress that she ought regret,

cap’d on cam from a hijacked feed.

Half a terabyte, so whatcha need?

Got grannies in the front, trannies in the back,

red on brown on blond on black,

ganged up, tied up, all alone:

every delectation to which I’m prone.

Got the Japanese schoolgirl tentacle love.

Got the furries in a flurry, they been yiffing it up.

Got a Craig’s List poster trading poo for pee.

Got a deep dark dungeon full of hot bi Swedes.

Got to click close, put it away

‘cause the internet is f-i-l-t-h-y.

The backslash on my keyboard’s stuck.

Mouse wheel don’t turn ‘cause it’s all gummed up.