I'm Sorry

Go ahead and call me a coward

And say that I'm not strong, because I'm not like you

Go ahead and call me crazy

Cause I live in a maze, tell me how about you?

I think I live in my head

Sometimes I think that I'm dead, I hide behind my youth

Know I been losing my mind

And I'm a little behind, step inside my shoes

Cause I've never been happy with myself

And I don't need no one feeling bad for me

Trying to offer me pity and throw jabs at me

Wanna give me advice and then laugh at me

Behind closed doors, just close the door

Let me be by myself, just me and myself

I'm tired of living, I cry

I hear it's easy to die, I wanna see for myself

And I know that sounds crazy to everyone else

But I'm depressed as fuck, stressed as fuck

Ain't no medicine that could cure what's the test as drugs

I mean, I need extra love

And that ain't even enough, said that ain't even enough

And where the fuck is God? (God, God)

Damn, maybe I ain't believing enough

But today we gonna see if He's real

And if He is, I guess I'm prolly going to hell

Look, I ain't wanna die like this

I ain't picture my life like this

They don't know what it's like like this

Pretending I'm happy so I can smile like this, and laugh like you

Sometimes I wonder if I ever act like you

Could I finally fit in and maybe relax like "woo!"

Or would you feel lost without me?

Cause honestly, I think the world is better off without me

And my mind's spinning, this is the line finish

Truth is I don't care how they feel about my feelings

I made up my mind, I'm going out like Robin Williams

I guess I'm not the Ordinary People of John Legend

And I've been suicidal since the day I was nine, shit

Okay, the day I was nine

I've been tired of being bullied, couldn't stay out the fire

Grandma told me I should take it one day at a time

And dammit, look at me now, fuck

Fuck, pen runnin' out, shit, fu—, ugh

Look, just know it's a new day

But if you reading this, then it's probably too late, blaow!

Just make sure you tell my family it's okay, I'm sorry

But it's too late, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me

I don't wanna live to see another day, I'm sorry

But I can't stay, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me

Just make sure you tell my family it's okay, I'm sorry

But it's too late, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me

I don't wanna live to see another day, I'm sorry

But I can't stay, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me

I hope you got what you wanted

I hope you finally happy, it's too late for you

Been going out of my mind

You don't know how many times that I done prayed for you

I hope you hear me, goddammit

Cause I got so much shit that I wanna say to you

I used to shine, now I'm all in the dark

I remember I used to tell you to follow your heart

But goddammit, look at you now, it's all of your fault

How could you? Maybe it's my fault

I shoulda paid more attention to what you been doin'

Maybe I should have been more of an influence

I can't believe that you're dead, I fu-

I read your letter and all I could do is have mixed feelings about it

But I'll forever be attached to you, damn

Part of me feels bad for you

A part of me feels like you weak and I'm mad at you

And I don't mean to be insensitive

But I don't understand how we couldn't prevent this shit

You took the easy way out, goddammit, you did

I mean, look what you did, I'm so fucking upset

How could you be so selfish?

Nigga, how could you be so selfish?

Now you're gone, you done left me so helpless

I wonder what God thinks, I hope you in God's place

Behaving yourself

Yo, what the fuck you gotta say for yourself? (say for yourself)

Look, I really feel lost without you

I hate the fact you think the world is better off without you

And my mind's spinning, this is the line finish

Truth is, I don't care how you feel about my feelings

And I'd be lying to you if I told you I'm fine, listen

I know that you can hear me, all I need is like five minutes

I just wanna reach inside the casket and pull you out

I'm sorry this is something that we both couldn't figure out

I wish I could hear you now, is your soul missing?

I wonder if you could do it again, would you do it different?

Tell me what death is like

Was it meant for you, brodie? Did the heaven support it?

Are you fucking happy now? Did you get what you wanted?

Isn't this what you wanted? I feel the temperature falling

And you've been suicidal back then you were nine?

Yeah, even back then, you was nine

We was living on the edge, couldn't stay out the fire

Grandma told us we should take it one day at a time

And damn it, look at you now, shit

But it's a new day

And if you can't hear me, it's probably too late, fuck!

Just make sure you tell my family it's okay, I'm sorry

But it's too late, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me

I don't wanna live to see another day, I'm sorry

But I can't stay, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me

Just make sure you tell my family it's okay, I'm sorry

But it's too late, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me

I don't wanna live to see another day, I'm sorry

But I can't stay, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me

Just make sure you tell my family it's okay, I'm sorry

But it's too late, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me

I don't wanna live to see another day, I'm sorry

But I can't stay, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me

Just make sure you tell my family it's okay, I'm sorry

But it's too late, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me

I don't wanna live to see another day, I'm sorry

But I can't stay, I'm sorry, so much weighing on me